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~I say...& u think~

Been a long weekend....
got all the latest PhD docs submitted to all the different Dr's that needed them....
tomrw i will f/u w/ the local indian health services to see if my study will be approved.....
so...
please cross your fingers, toes...any other appendages that will help =)

I also had an over-the-internets disagreement w/ that arrogant crunchy granola chick in canada who linked my pic from flickr to her diatribe on "good equipment does not a good photographer make"....
what a loon....
(of course she didnt word that analogy as creatively as i.... )
but then, according to her, i must have a better word processor...
because it wouldnt be my intelligence that would allow that .....?!? ~ OY~

I also got rid of the couch that i replaced =)
...a nice young couple wanted it...so ...much better than just going to a landfill....
even if they only use it for porch sitting...or out in the garage.

Stu-beans got a dog....
i'll write more when i get home ...
after i process the pics i took of him this afternoon......
what a sweet dog!....an australian cattle heeler....
or something like that....
he is beautiful....
& yes...i said ...when i get home.....
where am i? u ask...at 10 pm on a sunday nite?....
well....i came into the office to clean the puter of all docs that could be personal....
all internet links that would be mine....
printed off copies of the evil emails from the prick i wrote about the other day....
& basically cleaned off my desk...

just.in.case.

u know....in case monday brings unemployment after my pissy phone call the other day.
I think we (the prick, his boss...& i)
will be sitting down in the am to hash things out....
send good juju that i dont lose it....& stand my ground....
k?.... =)

OK...now....
u know the game.....answers are in the comments..... chat at cha later....

Gossipping ::
Misplaced ::
Spaceship ::
Ignore ::
Bodily ::
Tweezers ::
Goodnight ::
Curls ::
Faucet ::
Right? ::

~5308~...settling into the couch for the nite~

originally uploaded by ~mintas.fotos~.

ok...beginning RANT~

so...in addition to aunt flo making me miserable yesterday...
the issue that is my 'psycho-c*ck-sucker, control-freak, insecure, ultra-conservative' PM & i finally came to verbal blows....
over the phone...me at home ...he ...i dont care where...
..
the same shite has been happening...
so i had my IT consulting firm rep call to find out what was up his a**.

in addition to the other micromanaging bullshite he spouted...
he mentioned to her that i have used company resources to play games
(stapler kidnapping & ppt w/ list of demands)....

back the f*ck up poindexter!~
i informed her of the truth....
I had shared the humor w/ him...that i had sent him a copy....
thinking we were bonding ....& he (for three weeks now ) has been holding this misconception against me...
what a f*ckin loser!~

i sent her the original email
(created on my home computer at 2 am from my gmail account)....
HA! company resources my ass .....
again....what.a.fu*kin loser!~
.
((ok...who am i kidding w/ the astericks....lol))
.
so at her suggestion to communicate ...
he sent me his list of "new work requirements"
in it... he included
" no work from home w/out his approval" ,
1 wk notification for ANY time off,
and the clincher?
...a daily "end of day" call
to TELL.HIM.WHAT.I.HAVE.ACCOMPLISHED.
yeah....jump off mofo.....
.
after my call to my rep....to blow steam...& get her consensus....
i did my daily call....
& i know u are all thinking...
"well....i am sure THAT went well?" HA!
um...yeah....NO!~i'll save u all the ridiculous details...
.
when i asked in writing for clarification of the 'new rules' he wrote: " thats what I need"
.
after i verbally asked for better clarification ...he answered " i dont owe you any explanation"
.
so ....me being me...pushed further....by asking ....ok David....do you want me to tell u when i pee?...when i eat something...what i am drinking for the day?..
lol
the prick hung up on me.....
yeah....real professional behavior there mr PM.....
.
so i called HIS boss at home..... =) explained what happened two wks ago when he YELLED at me in private coupled w/ what went down today was the equivalent of harassment. I further stated, that because i was scared of this guys rage towards me....& since no-one was going to be in the building on our team besides he and i on friday.....i would rather not be there......in essence... i was asking permission to take a personal day.....he concurred......said he would f/u w/ the prick friday & if necessary we would all sit down monday....

i then wrote the prick an email......advising that after speaking w/ his boss & my IT rep....it was decided best for me to take a personal day.....

long story short ....(if you're even still reading)
today was spent sleeping.....& wondering if i will have a job come monday.....
.
u know......at then base of all this shite is the fact that he doesn't respect me, believe that my actions are done w/ positive intent, & has formed incorrect negative opinions of my behavior, beliefs & work ethic.......people...life's to short....to put up w/ others who are as miserable as he is in their existence.....

i didn't go back into the work force to be unhappy....if i learned anything last yr ...during my time off....it was that life is too short to not be happy everyday.....i want to live my life joyfully...w/ passion....& not be around unkind people.....this might be turning point.....yet again..... =)

~&....SCENE!~

~escapism~

its been quite the week...
i feel as if a small portion of ME got sucked out...
slowly....
almost didnt notice...
until i assessed my lack of 'zaniness"...
my lack of smartass-ness....
& measured it against my "want to crawl into bed & escape" levels....

i'm at that 'pulled in different directions' spot again....

u know the place.....
its at the crossroads of
"want to crank the tunes, dance & create art"
&
"must be responsible adult, play nice, & make money to support your creative habits"......

I hate standing in those crossroads.....

I'm so much better at being
'suffering artist'.....
'creative nite-owl'...
"crazy neighbor lady w/ all the animals who seems to be having an affair w/ her USP guy'.....

i sit here all day......
playing corporate mouse in the cubical maze....
thinking of all the pictures i could take....
how to set them...
the subjects...
the colours....
the mood.....
the message
the hidden story....

but then when i get my nite pass to leave the maze.....
i forget them....or am tooo tired to get them....or the sun has disappeared...... =(

oh...well...
got another meeting....
to go over another report....
a survey this time...
that i created...
to pick the brains of my pilot testers...wheeeeeee!~
it will be interesting to see the level of responses from the other mice.....

maybe i should add cheese to it when i send it out?.........

~testing my Buddhism~

somedays i need to step back...
& take another look...
@ the blessing that is my life....

not let little things...or people bother me so....
its their shit....

i had a SHIT day @ work today...
u think u know someone?...

then they go all jeckyl & hyde on your ass....
in this case....
because he didn't know my opinions & sharings during conversations in meetings is backed up w/ 14 yrs experience w/in the organization.....

couple:

the fact that he thought i was just a contractor who joined the team a month ago....

w/ his mngmnt style that borders on "i'm the male parent...u need to not ask questions & just do it little girl"....

& i am sure u can imagine my shock & "u've got to be f'in kidding me look on my face" .....

so...yeah....
the honey moon is over....
i've managed to piss off someone who feels hes my superior because hes the employee & I am a contractor .....
&
well...
chicks w/ nice racks shouldn't have brains ....or ask questions...or give opinions....

this too shall pass.....OM.....

~questions~

1. r u serious?...lady...i was standing at the sink in the washroom...rinsing my contacts....u DID NOT just waltz out of the stall ...after flushing....& make a beeline for the door?!?!.....good god woman....we are at work!.....u are disgusting!.....((note to self....always use paper towel on handles in all areas of building......))
   
   
2. what is it about two people walking towards each other who do not work together side by side...but perhaps pass each other in the building.....((which houses 1000's of people thru-out the day)) ....that can not....must not...WILL NOT make eye contact.....or say hi.....!?!?...am i the odd-ball here?..have i been out of the workforce too long this last hiatus?......jeezychreezy......its a simple acknowledgement... a simple nod, a simple smile, god forbid we take it up a notch & actually say HI!?!? .....fuckers
   
   
3. what corporate organization that functions on a 24 hour basis ((IT industry)) has a cafeteria (shitty, dead-animal based, at that)) that closes at 1:30 in the afternoon?!?!.....i had to practically beg the sweet little Hispanic guy behind the deli to give me a scoop of egg salad......& a slice of cheddar cheese......then i thought i would get adventurous?....& bought the homemade ...ranch kettle chips?!?..um yeah....MISTAKE......i wouldn't care about the cafe closing at 1:30 if it weren't such a pain in the ass to go down there floors ...across the parking lot.....drive out of the gate secured campus.....go get lunch ....& make the trek back to my desk on the third floor (( in 100+ degree'd weather soon)).....
   
   
4. Y does my dog KorKor make it her personal mission in life to chew every pen possible that she can get a hold of?......she has even figured out that there is a plethora of them on the desk .....so when momma is at work?! pen par-TAY!.... ordered new pens from staples last nite.....& will now need to put the pen-bucket up on the bookshelf......gotta luv a smart dog...i think she secretly wants some 'ink' on that pearly white bod of hers......
   
   
5. ok...not sure if you all in other parts of the country have this issue......Pixie & veritably bare can prolly relate since they live in southern states......but ....people! ..this is a corporate ((really nice, newly built)) building ......if you come from a country, home. neighborhood, or upbringing that required (s) you to place your toilet paper not in the toilet .....due to poor plumbing issues......that DOES NOT mean it is necessary to just throw it on the ground below the toilets here !?!?....R U KIDDING ME!...come on!......GROSS!.....
   

~ok....got that out of my system..WHEW!.thanx for listening...tomrw is FRIDAY!! toodles...~

~my new fave work relief~

see more funny graphs

~whew~

ok
lots of stuff swimming in the doc2b's noggin...
will try to stay linear as i explain...
but it is saturday...therefore not required...
but i will try...

monday I had a WONDERFUL conversation w/someone who has become a new 'friend'.....
but was previously a tenured "aware of each-other" guy ...
in other words.....
when i was in 7th grade...he was in 8th...lol...
he would tease me in school & brought his friend along (as the wingman) to deal w/ me when he wanted to get into my 'easier' girlfriends panties at 'willow wood park' ...
i am not even sure what brought about our exchanging emails...& now phone calls....
but we have been 'talking' for about a yr or so....
i guess to sum the whole experience up?
there are nice guys out there...
good fathers....
the only problem?....
i can't find one here in az...
u see Thom is still back in the midwest...
where people tend to still have that 'real people' mindset...
u follow me?....

which brings me to TH's nite experience...
which i am still mulling over....
i participated in a live streaming ustream TV chat...
& i although i didn't mean to ....i managed to monopolize the conversation...
HUSH...
i know u're not surprised.....

anywho.....
i asked the men in the conversation questions about the type of women they prefer...,
i asked how they felt about smart girls....girls who own their own home....who have jobs, goals, responsibilities...etc....((get where i was going ?))
yeah....i was asking for myself....
w/out explaining the whole thing....
& no.....
i did not get any real answers....nor did i leave that feeling any better about myself....my situation...my future lovelife possibilities....
they actually confirmed my fears w/out even realizing it.....
they made fun of my braininess......my IQ....
ribbed me for talking about my failure of two marriages...& brought it all down to sex ...
big surprise again...
of course they wanted to see pics....lol
because they could not fathom talking about the situation w/out deciding on their own if they would 'hit that'.....
losers.....
i left that conversation more confused about it all than before it started......
niiiice.....

first week at work was just that...
still getting settled in....
good to see familiar faces...
HATE getting up in the am...
can not get my ass to bed at a reasonable hour....
babies are all adjusting to momma being gone all day....
thankful that i am only 10 minutes away...
& can go home for lunch each day to get a snuggle & let them out to go potty....
i am, however, really enjoying getting a paycheck again....=)

this week has been HELL for my allergies...
itchy eyes.....
sneezing, sneezing & more sneezing....feeling wiped out from trying zyrtec ....
decided on claritin instead...

i have not had any real time to get any foto-fun in....
that saddens me....
as i still have a couple rolls to finish in the lomo fish-eye...
& want to get a good day in focusing just on the hasselblad.....
perhaps tmrw?....

i did manage to order & install a wacom editing tablet...
NO MORE MOUSE editing pain!
ever try to edit a layer off cactus spines?...um yeah...
can we say carpel tunnel?...
the additional bene to getting the wacom....
is the opportunity i had (& took) to order PS CS3 for over 1/2 off .....
(also a gr8 writeoff for next yrs taxes for the bus)

i installed it last nite...
& although i anticipate a steep learning curve?...
i am soooo looking forward to it.....

i paid bills today....
& am waiting anxiously (another 2 wks or so)
for my school funds to show....
i can pay some big chunks on some outstanding bills...
& it will feel really good to have those paid....

getting closer to ordering the D300 & all her accessories....
she has an additional 300.00 rebate currently .....
& of course all the bells/ whistles i want are 'currently instock'....
u have NO idea the amount of control i have exhibited this last week .....
it has been painful to not hit that 'order' button.....
even more painful because my new amex bus plat card is 0% interest thru the end of the yr!.......
any bets on how long i hold out?...........=)

i anticipate depositing my next reservation funds check right back into the savings accts....
both for the house & my health savings.....
i burned thru both while i was off...

ok....i really must get to my list of to-do's around here.....& get some shite done so maybe i can play tomrw....
toodles poodles....

~ update time ~

new jobby...new window seat....new kicks....new speedy 'puter....=)

AZ Tattoo Convention....
this guy was getting an aztec design tattoo'd to the side of his head...OUCH!

New skull for the Dias de los Muertos celebration =) .....rest of the yr?....
on the piano...
sa-weeeet....

~my hair is FIERCE!~

off to another interview...
prolly will not get this one either...
its w/ the previous co that i contracted w/
me & the director ...
um...
had a few 'differences' re:
life
philosophy
opinions
clothing styles
levels of 'self-expression' that we were individually comfy w/...
me...anything goes....
her...Asian church mouse dressing for male acceptance....
so needless to say...
her influence may still ring strong....
& no matter how bad someone in another dept wants to hire me?...
if she finds out ...
she has been known to call them & talk them out of it...
yeah i know...
major bad karma ...
& ILLEGAL...
but...
lets be honest ...
how do you really bust someone for that ?!?!
yeah....
so....
off i go again........
oh well...
it all happens for a reason! .....=)
& i am not defined by my job......
:::its just nice to pay the bills....LOL::::

~makes the sinus meds work better?~

BIG sinus headache for the last couple days....
seems allergy season is in full swing for me....
BAH!.....
still waiting on my fed refund....
the website said it was to be here by 11th....
UM...today?!
so....hopefully its tomrw....
if not...i will be raising holy hell......
the state check showed up last week...
& i wanted to deposit them together...
:::nicer impact to the checking acct:::

i have to miss the zoo trip tomrw w/ stubeans & the nephew....
stupid interview that i prolly won't get an offer for....
since its also w/ the same org that must have a huge X across my previous file....
i just wish someone would verify the dragon lady's got something to do w/ it all...
but that would prolly be career suicide for that honest person....
dont cha wish just once in a while.....
u had the ability to see the outcome of some peoples karma?!?......


i did get a chance to pop off some of the lomo camera shots...
can not wait to finish the roll.....& get the negs back....
i finished labeling ALL the pics on my image site....
that was a chore in the mundane....
ever sit & try to think of all the simple words that would lead a search engine to pull up a pic?...
BRAIN DRAIN....
anywho....click HERE to see the new galleries & their contents....=)

~Leapin Lizards~

well..
not really.....
since i do not have a lizard to leap w/...
well....i DO have a bearded dragon...
& technically it IS a lizard....
i was really referring to a lizard appendage.....
& well....
don't have one....
not even one to attached to someone else that i could leap over .....

::::le sigh::::

ok....so anyway....went to see that new Dennis Quaid film..."vantage point"...
& quite honestly?...
got a headache....
toooooo much chase scene.....
& i usually luv that stuff in movies....
then went out to dindin w/ Stubeans & his friend from NY (what is it about people in my life flying in from NY this month??)...
they ate fish flesh....& i had orange chix.....
mine was delish....
they hated theirs...
what would u expect?...
um..besides the fact that this is the dessert (far far away from coastal access???)
theres the fact that its GROSSSS!!......fish eggs?.....!?!?!?!?
EW!?!?!
ok...i'm done.....

lets see...what else.....
i filled out what i anticipate to be my last yr of federal school loan papers yesterday....
should be a good yr...
since i did not work 1/2 the yr last......

had an interview yesterday... went well.....
but the dragon lady may have left her influence around ....
we'll see what her lasting effect was .....
if its anything like how the smell of death lingers after killing my career there.....
well...
there just is not enough air-freshener to clean her stench out of the area.....
& well...everything happens for a reason.....

i spent many many hours last nite...
loading all the pics i would like to share for sale....
onto the image site where that is possible...
so...go there!
buy sumptin....
allow me to pay my bills w/out panicking .....
go look at least....
u'd be surprised.... =)
linkypoo ...in the top posting....

i have to rewrite my abstract in the future tense...
then when the study is over?...i rewrite it in the past again...
fuckin games.....

i think after i send off the proposal tomrw....
i'll go blow off some steam
((read sexual frustration))....
at the gunclub.... =)
its always nice to see all those sexshay mens in their cop/fbi/homeland security garb.....
perhaps i will do something which causes me to 'assume the position'.... RAWR!

~damn that silly retrograded mercury....~

well....i have quite the decision to make...
after i call the accountant of course....
i know things happen ( or don't happen) for a reason....
& its time i put that to the test....
amex gave me a plat bus card for ~mintas.fotos~...
i've been told i have an eye...
i've done my research....
gr8 book btw if anyone ever wanted to know how to market their foto's.....
its called the 2008 photographers market where & how to sell your photographs....
it lists over 1400 listings for mags, books, publishers, stock agencies & more...
i need to ask my accountant the +'s / _'s to either LLC ...
or should i go w/ a sole proprietorship...
need to find out re getting an EIN....or just use the SS....
need to go the the bank & get a line of equity.....
shouldn't be too hard.....
my house lists for 220.00, even in the downturn of the market.....
& I only owe 70K....
not that i am planning on blowing thru the funds avail.....
but it would be nice to pay off the credit cards....have money for bills....
while i continue to find the 'right job'.....
get the foto bus off the ground..
& finish the PhD.......
last but of course......
not least....
i will have the fun job of finally buying that Nikon D300 that makes me swoon just imagining my hands wrapped around her & pushing her buttons.... =)

~13~

13 Things I am Puzzled by:

1. the peeps w/whom i worked side-by-side (some for the last yr...some the last 6 mo's) seem to not be the peeps inside that i so wanted them to be.....the word i am looking for in their behavior (i.e no calls or comments) i am sad to admit is 'real'. What i mean by this is that i was 'real' at all times....& it hurts to realize they are not able to be the same.....when asked a question...or found myself in a conversation which required trust....i treated them as i wished to be....w/ honesty, openness & care. I have not heard a peep out of them since.......(well...Poodles are excluded =)
   
   
2. what the hell do i have to use on the driveway to get rid of the oil spills?...yeah.....'super-degreaser' from the auto store?...naht sooo much....
   
   
3. why am i not able to sleep at nite? even if i force myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour......not more than 4 hrs later?.....wide-awake!
   
   
4. will i ever be able to find BAX (doofus) a loving forever home?......he really needs a one-dog home.....& would be a wonderful little boy.
   
   
5. what does 'bokah' in regards to photography methods (DOF) really mean?
   
   
6. do i jump back into another IT contract (because the money is FABU)... or do i really need to take a parttime gig w/ enough hrs & money to leave me time & sanity to get my Dissertation / study done?
   
   
7. what the hell caused me to get kidney stones?....& worse....will i suffer thru that again?
   
   
8. what the hell is w/ all the ants this yr? I have nevah had them this bad.....ZOE had little welts on her the other morning...... mean little buggers biting my babies makes me MAD!
   
   
9. should i get the ink i have been pondering over for the last yr or so? Or is it because i am off.....that my mind is occupied by more creative things .......
   
   
10. y do i subconsciously give myself permission to participate in 'creative' activities....pasttimes...hobbies when i am between contracts?......
    
    
11. is it possible to find a job that will feed both my wallet....&....my creative energies?
    
    
12. is 9527 songs on my IPOD excessive?
    
    
13. will i get thru my 'list' of shite to do around the house b4 i go back to work?....does anyone ever get thru the "list"? LOL
    

~13~

NO...it is not me....(& borrowed from Jason ...)
butt....LOL...get it?...huh?...Butt?....
I am a Sagittarian....

OK...
on to the 13 things I am going to do FRI.....

1. Finalize my unemployment papers
2. paint the kitchen floor spots that I created last wk
3. go over budget - see how long $ will last =(
4. pay bills
5. write mom & dad
6. drop off Alexandrine parrot @ BUD's (1 less pet ... yeah! =)
7. wash Jeepy...get ready for sale
8. insure her for 1 month so test drives are ok
9. go thru clothes not wearing......donate
10. send last round of rewrites to Dr. J w/ IRB application rough draft
11. install gun safe
12. finish the 280 cd's loading into BigMomma
13. send some cover letters & resume to jobs on DICE
    

its been a strange 2 weeks.......
on one hand....
I've actually got 8+ hours of sleep a nite....
I KNOW....
I can not believe it either....
& it is amazing.....
HOW GOOD THAT FEELS......LOL
I've organized all my foto stuff
which was all over the place.....
moved the office
stained the chairs to match the new table
bought the new table....
caught up on all my DVR'd stuff...
shredded 12 yrs worth of docs....
cleaned out the fridge....cabinets...floors...
& best part?...spent quality time w/ my babies...

NOW.....on the other hand....
I didn't make any money...
didn't talk to any prospective employers...
ignored my neighbors...
made no phone calls to friends to catch-up.....
have become really accustomed to being a hermit...
have started functioning only in the middle of the nite.....again....
maybe I need to get a 3rd shift job again!??

~~well?....did I do good?!~~

~~Still tweekin in PS, Dragon lady & new hm office digs~~

ok...i got the paycheck I was waiting on....
u see i wanted to ensure that happened
before i commented on last weeks events......

where the f*ck does one begin w/ such a tale....

u know....between u and me?
the dragon lady did me a favor.....

i am not upset re "the contract ending"
otherwise read as 'no job.....'
(well eventually that would be an issue....
but i think U know what i mean?))
i have $ set aside....
as any responsible contractor does


What upsets me the most....
is not only her piss poor management style, at best......
but also the fact that she is allowed to continue
her sociopathic...
passive
aggressive
cold
manipulative
destruction of peoples livelihoods....
without so much as a blink of an eye....

she must be pretty proud of her power play.....
not only did she exert her power in getting rid of me.....
but she also managed to scare the living shit out of those who are still on the team.

U see.....
i was warned....
by numerous others....
i had heard the horror stories....
(also numerous)
of her UBER level of Biotchness
the level to which others are measured against....
of her micro-fuckin -management-style
yeah...that doesnt begin to describe it....
there really should be
a picture of her
in Websters
under...
UBER Micro-biotch-manager....

in the 6 month's
i fulfilled my obsequient duties.....
the dragon lady managed
to rid herself of any
& all reports who
question her,
push back
or fail to jump at the snap of her fingers.
yeah....
shes NOT a big fan of 'working out loud' thru an issue...
questions...or
um....independent thinking...

My fatal move?.....
i took a couple vacation days
((when PIXIE winged her way over to stay with me))
incidentally......
we did have a black cat cross our path one nite.....

mmmm?

anywhooo
as required...
per policy....i put myself on the calendar......
talked to her co-director for the project....
& had numerous conversations with key members of the team

i guess my mistake
was that I pushed back.

the first instance....
happened when i was getting ready to go get Pixie at the airport.
Dragon lady had left me a voicemail
& sent an email
asking where i was on the 9 am call!?!?
DUH!
um...for a director?....yeah.....
not so bright.....
why the fuck does the calendar exist?...
& why have people use it
IF
U
R'nt
gonna
read it!?!?

2nd instance....
when Pixie & i were in sedona
Dragon Lady proceeded to send another email....
telling me that my previous response
was not what she was looking for
& that she needed
this ...that ...& the other.....

what the fuck!?!
did U not read the auto reply
that gets sent out?!?!?


I am out of the office these days .....
& will return correspondence when back in the office
on such and such a day.....

U believe the biotch?!
i have never (in my 16+ yrs with that org) been contacted while on vaca
......so ....knowing full well....i shouldn't ignore it....
i sent a note back
....advising her when i returned to the valley that nite
i would do my best to get the documents she was asking for.....

long story short...
she called me twice...
& communicated via emails twice during my vacation...
When i returned that following Monday.....
all my responsibilities where handed off to other team members ......

The email from one of her golden boys
said....
" don't worry about the communications or training stuff you were doing.....we need you to assist in testing the next couple weeks"

nothing more.....
no questions re where I was on everything..
no explanation.....
nadda......

the ONLY other communication
i received from the Dragon Lady...
was an email the monday prior to being let go...
in the subject line:

NNTO(no need to open): Reminder......core hours start at 9 am ...that means you are to start work no later than that.......thanx.

now....doesn't that just fuckin ooooze warmth...
concern
professionalism?!?!?
yeah...im gonna have to go with NO!..

People....
what U need to understand...
is on that Monday....
the day she sent that
it was my first day in the new building.....
my new desk....((i previously had been sitting in another building))
it was 9:20...
i was ill....( but knew better than to call in sick)
& the clincher?....
she sat over the wall......

no attempt to welcome me to the area...
no swinging by my cube....
no "hey..i noticed you were running a little late this am....."
no actual email content.......
nothing except that loving statement.....

....when i wrote back .......

"yes...fully aware of the policy...I fully intended on being here earlier but am not feeling my best this am. I do apologize for not alerting you."

any guesses to what i got back?!?
ding ding ding.....

NO response......
& for the rest of the 4 days i was on the team......
that's exactly what I got more of...

not another look,
email
voicemail,
or otherwise from her.....
(even when standing right next to her)
to say the least...

shes a real piece of work....

Dragon Ladies track record during my 6 month tenure on the team:
....3 program managers,
....2 contractors not including me,
....2 others who chose to "roll off the project"
((as she states))

(her record goes further back than that...and in all fairness...i was warned before accepting the job.....).

The reason behind those who left?....
& those who i know are praying for other opportunities ?.....
((i am gonna give my professional educated opinion (criminal forensic psych profiling))
her sociopathic,
numb to the feelings of others existence.

i think if she went to see the wizard for a heart?
he would have to tell her its hopeless.....
it wouldn't survive in such a negative environment.......

the fatal day?
my contractor liaison showed up at my desk....
& i said...
well..i guess i know why you are here?
let me pack my stuff....
normally managers give 2 weeks notice...
my last director...gave me a month.
Not the dragon lady.....
nope.....
out this afternoon
was the request
LOL
here's the email she sent
from some huddle room in the building
as she hid from me
& my exit...

Team,
This is to inform you that today was Dr.M's last day with the team. She is no longer on contract with Amex and has already left the building.
Regards,

the subject line said...Dr. M's last day

........i'll give u all a moment to get some Kleenex.....
i know i was moved by the level of emotion in her note

OK......in the immortal words of "D"....
"enough of that silliness...."

so....U ask....when blessed w/ time off....what does DrM2b get done?

LUVIN my time off....
cleaning...spending time with the babies...
purging papers...
clothes i don't wear
books
& knickknacks that take up space
....Movin my desk area out of the kitchen....
& into the TV room.....
it will be better for my neck...LOL
no more crankin around the corner to see the 59 inch HDTV....
i will just turn around =)...
besides.....my lap gets sooo crowded....,
this way ...the babies can all sit on the couch
& i can write...
blog
do my research....
Photoshop
to my little hearts content......
& not have to jostle the pups
one wants up...
another wants down...
...two are ignoring the fact that I am not furniture....
& are playing tug of war in my lap....

........ok...must sign off... moving computer to the other room.....

Remember.......everything happens for a reason.....I live a very blessed life!!

i find it funny really....
how relaxed i feel....
perhaps it is really relief....

all i know....is that I need to make the best of this opportunity, this gift of time i have been given ....

i must remember her behaviors
refer to them thru my life
in the file of how not to behave....
a list of behaviours i do not wish to exhibit

maybe i will send her a thank U card?...LOL
yeah.....that would be funny...
I'm just sayin..............

~~Bad Boys Bad Boys....what cha gonna do??~~

whew hew!!.....
finally!....success.

Can't tell U more than that tho...

I'd have ta kill ya....

Just know....the streets are safe.....

Move along folks.....nothing more to see....

HA!

~~~SMACK~~~

Too much going thru the brain lately…
I hate when that happens….
I can’t turn it off......
….its not like there are voices ……or are they?
Is that what it sounds like?......

Silly me….thinking about my learning’s…..schizophrenia….
Just had to be different people….different voices…right?....
….clear & discernable….”oh…that’s a different voice…..I must be crazy….”
I guess not…..huh?....& here I thought I was just talking to myself…..

Maybe 'the team' ....the powers at work keep referring to....
assigning work to..........
really is a team?……
all in my head…..all talking at once……trying to control me.

Sure would be nice if they would get their shit together……earn their keep.

Sooooooooooooooooooooo……
I just went over to check on a new blog friend…….
& read a reaaaaaaly sad group of postings……she’s really hurting….
I cried….. & vowed to tell people I love them when the moment strikes…….

…….her moment presented itself.....she fully lived it….but
…then her friend ‘cleansed her life of an old love’ via the traditional
“I’m gonna burn all his shit” ritual all of us do at one time in our life.

Unfortunately…..she burned the house down too…
I am still processing the message…..the reminder...

U know ……..we read…..we watch the news…we listen in passing to conversations as we go about our busy day…all wrapped up in ourselves......to those events which seem to happen to people we don’t know........protecting ourselves from the pain of loss…..

Except…..one day…..we will be that person being shared in coffee shops….in the grocery………at the post office…bank…..over the cubicle wall……

R U ready?..... to be shared in passing??

~~HaHa...Jakes Cat~~

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