~Leapin Lizards~

well..
not really.....
since i do not have a lizard to leap w/...
well....i DO have a bearded dragon...
& technically it IS a lizard....
i was really referring to a lizard appendage.....
& well....
don't have one....
not even one to attached to someone else that i could leap over .....

::::le sigh::::

ok....so anyway....went to see that new Dennis Quaid film..."vantage point"...
& quite honestly?...
got a headache....
toooooo much chase scene.....
& i usually luv that stuff in movies....
then went out to dindin w/ Stubeans & his friend from NY (what is it about people in my life flying in from NY this month??)...
they ate fish flesh....& i had orange chix.....
mine was delish....
they hated theirs...
what would u expect?...
um..besides the fact that this is the dessert (far far away from coastal access???)
theres the fact that its GROSSSS!!......fish eggs?.....!?!?!?!?
EW!?!?!
ok...i'm done.....

lets see...what else.....
i filled out what i anticipate to be my last yr of federal school loan papers yesterday....
should be a good yr...
since i did not work 1/2 the yr last......

had an interview yesterday... went well.....
but the dragon lady may have left her influence around ....
we'll see what her lasting effect was .....
if its anything like how the smell of death lingers after killing my career there.....
well...
there just is not enough air-freshener to clean her stench out of the area.....
& well...everything happens for a reason.....

i spent many many hours last nite...
loading all the pics i would like to share for sale....
onto the image site where that is possible...
so...go there!
buy sumptin....
allow me to pay my bills w/out panicking .....
go look at least....
u'd be surprised.... =)
linkypoo ...in the top posting....

i have to rewrite my abstract in the future tense...
then when the study is over?...i rewrite it in the past again...
fuckin games.....

i think after i send off the proposal tomrw....
i'll go blow off some steam
((read sexual frustration))....
at the gunclub.... =)
its always nice to see all those sexshay mens in their cop/fbi/homeland security garb.....
perhaps i will do something which causes me to 'assume the position'.... RAWR!

~Boo YA...MotherFuc*ers~

well....i hit the send button ....on 120 pages of blah blah blah.....

1. now we wait.....
2. Dr. XXXX should send back an answer to 2 of the items in the international review board application that i had no clue how to answer....
3. & then it is off to the rest of the committee.......
4. they get 2 wks to read...
5. comment & send back w/ their 2 cents....
6. i do the edits according to their suggestions....
7. i send it back....
8. Dr. XXXX sends it to the Dean .....
9. the Dean gets 2 wks to add their input...
10. note questions....& send it back....
11. i do THOSE edits.....
12. send it back to Dr. XXXX.....
13. she puts her stamp of approval......
14. it goes back to the Dean for their stamp of approval.....
15. then back to Dr. XXXX.....
16. she sends it to the IRB.....
17. they say yay or nay.....
18. i change whatever the IRB isnt happy w/....
19. Then i schedule a call w/ my committee to defend what i want to do in my study......
20. this gets approved.....
21. then...& ONLY then do i finally get PERMISSION to conduct my study.......((the study i have been writing a proposal towards for the last oh....yr and a half!))
    

FU*k me!.....
so...cross your fingers...toes...eyes....other appendages if possible
((wink wink nudge nudge)).....
i am going to go shower.....
sign my tax papers.....
mail those ........
((HUGE tracks of refund... btw ))....
go tan....
walk the puppers....
take some fotos for my 2008:yr in pics series....
do some laundry.....
& get ready for an interview i have tmrw......
yeah...when it rains it pours......
i also have to finish getting my foto's up for sale =)....
toodles poodles....play nice.....

~OH my LAWD....~

i haven't laughed so fuckin hard in a loooooong time....
i thought the first post was hilarious....
but then...
the pixie ...
in true star-form....
followed w/ THIS POST....

thanx for the thought babe!......
& the laugh....
i heart u!

~~TMI TUESDAY~~

1. What can you consider as the greatest thing you've ever done for/ to yourself?

Believed in myself....of course ...not the easiest thing....but in the end....always the greatest.

2. What/ Which part of your life you think you could have done better and why?

the yrs that i allowed the influence of a man (who ultimately decieved me ) to keep me away from my family & not mend the relationships. i of course divorced him...but i can never get those 8 yrs...yes...8 yrs back that i chose not to speak to my family.....

3. Do you have that one person whom you consider to be the wind beneath your wings?

yes....i do have someone...who i can call at anytime to talk me off the ledge if need be....

4. Tell us about your longest relationship.

oh mon dieu.....u don't really want to read that old fodder......unless of course u are looking for the cure for insomnia?

5. In a relationship, when do you get to that point of enough is enough?

HA!....is THIS ever a loaded question......um yeah...i guess it is when i fail to see that look in my partners eye...u know the one....the look that says you are their world....once that disappears?...the end is soon coming......

Bonus (as in optional):What is that one intimate moment with someone you miss so much and what are you willing to risk to have another moment of it. ;)

true ...unconditional....carnal knowledge....w/ no inhibitions....lost in eachother....& i would risk quite a bit to taste that again.....

~~wanna play?...click the duckie....~~~

~busy fun in the sun weekend~

this weekend was a busy one.....
Andy, a friend of mine left the snow & cold of NY state...
to enjoy the sun poolside....among other AZ delights...
the pups didnt really know what to think of that noise he kept making.....but i thought it was rather nice...... =)

of course ....
saturday we did the drive up into the mountains to Sedona.....
i always luv the reaction when visitors see the RedRocks for the first time......
after exiting the hwy...
you take that corner ......
& BAM!
beauty.....
never fails.....
u tell people about the Red Rocks.....
but until they see them.....it doesnt really make sense....

Afterwards we took the detour over the mnts back home....
thru jerome.....
always a nice drive...=)
there was snow ....quite a bit actually....
not really what Andy left NY to see.....but i thought it was beautiful......
after getting back into town....removed all the redrock dust...& got ready to meet Amy (see below) but her kids were sick....
so..we did the next best thing...
we went to the taste of Thai instead.....YUM!....
Andy ate FIRE....& i had a delicious sweet-n-sour chix.....

Sunday ....we arranged to see Amy...
a friend of Andy's at the Scottish highland games.....
& for the record....before we go any further...
can I just say how f'in hot a man in a kilt is?.....
((more delicious pics on my flickr site...(see above))
RAWR!
ok....anyway......Amy & Andy had a chance to catch up after 16 yrs... kewl =)...
& afterwards...we went out for delicious Mexican food @ cafe Bario (best guacamole made at the table I have EVAH had) on 16th street just south of Thomas......

Monday.....
after sleeping til noon ....LOL
......um...yeah....not me...Andy......
people....I have told u about that bed!...
I of course being the hostess w/ the mostess.....
gave Andy my room.....(w/ Bella & Zoe....(traitors!)...
while i was on the couch....(w/ korkor....)....
so...natually ...I was not seduced into a coma from that bed.......lol
anywho....I digress.....
when we finally got rollin.....
we took the cameras out back...
played w/ the pups & my collection of ducks in the pool......
later we tried to capture the sunset.....
(u can see from the pics...Andy's camera was permanently attached to his face the whole time he was here....)
& took the pups for a walk before taking Andy to the airport for his trip back to the frozen tundra of NY.....

all in all ....a nice weekend.....

~Hell Hath Frozen Over!~

ok...
regardless of what u nay-sayers mumble re:
my little 'dances nekkid & burns incense while poking pins into certain asian director voodoo dolls' practice.....
there really is something to the fact that mercury flung itself back out of retrograde this past monday.....
since then....

1. i talked w/ a realtor re doin all her model home foto's for her new website...


2. been asked to submit my resume on 3 jobs...


3. found out my financial aide will kick back in this term (due to some fluke of the classes being renumbered & how it was too difficult to figure out which doctoral candidate was where in the process)....


4. finished my tax numbers for my accountant & found out its gonna be a good return yr =)can we say Nikon D300 ....OH MY!


5. figured out i have a check comin from the reservation $$$


6. finished all the front / backyard lawn issues...


7. fixed the pool pump chlorinator thingy (i have a salt water system)


8. & best of all?.......got this email:

DrM2B....
Attached is my comments on your latest draft. Overall I think it looks terrific! I have a few minor changes and suggestions.
Once you have made those, I am ready to send it off to you committee.

Dr. XXXXX

wow......this just may happen after all!.......squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

~~TMI TUESDAY~~

1. Which one turns you on more Ink or piercing? Why?
INK....prolly because of the stories behind the ink.....i luv hearing the design stories....many times people surprise me....& i luv being surprised...

2. What ink do you have? If none, what would you get and and where?
my reservation insignia is on my ankle....OM MANI PEDME HUM is on my lower back....& i have an OM between my shoulder blades @ my heart chakra to help keep my heart open.....

3. What piercing do you have? If none, what would you get and and where?
ears....nose...belly button....hood (functional..not ornamental)

4. Any other adornments you like to do for your lover or have then do for you?
strange question....& not applicable at this time...so i get to skip it ....HA!

5. Of all of the above is there anything that is an immediate Turn-Off?
nope.

Bonus (as in optional): If money/work place rules/your life/whatever what ALL would you do to your body in the name of sexual or just general adornment? well...i think i understand this grammatically poor question....& my thoughts are that i have never NOT done something because of work rules....i was once asked to remove an eyebrow piercing at a salon i worked at.....before quitting.....i wrote a nice letter to the management explaining how hypocritical i felt the org was due to the owners being gay...& how we signed a form allowing them to fire us if it was ever mentioned in a negative light......so...basically....they demanded we accept them as they were .....yet.....we as employee's were to change our personal expression because they didnt like piercings....um yeah.....NOT!

~horsies! =)~

well...
i was suppose to f/u w/ my committee chair this am...
now it appears i have to call the university on her a**today...
i have been waiting for feedback (which i was hoping was the final round ) from her for 2 weeks now...
yeah...like i have semester time to waste..
my financial aide doesn't pay when i don't advance thru the program....
& i was ok w/ having to pay this term ....
since we(committee chair and i ) were working towards ensuring it would be submitted to the international review board by end of term..
now...however...if she doesnt get her a** in gear....
i'm f*cked again....for next term
each term has 10 weeks...w/ a two week break in between....
this is wk 7....
my proposal still needs to go thru the rest of the committee review...
& we know they will want to add their 2 cents....
they have 2 weeks to do so ....once they get it....
yup..do the math....end of term....
even before i get a chance to resubmit....
FUCK!.....

so....i guess i will be calling the university today to discuss my options ....
ask how i remedy this situation....

ok....breathe.....

did u know tomrw ((approx 6:30 pm eastern time) there is going to be a total lunar eclipse?....
u know i will be driving outside of city lights to get some pics.... =) ...
also...the 53rd annual Arabian Horse show is in town this week.....
i am planning on getting out there early tomrw & spend the day .....
visiting the stables....get some non-show pics......
sooo looking forward to it....
of course ...
also very scared of what it is going to stir up.....
i used to train polo ponies.....
the guy i used to work for had an arab filly brought into the barn.....i really enjoyed the friends i made in that job.....& really miss the whole horsey scene.....
eventually i will get another horse....
after the PhD....

ok......need to get shite done around here......

~~I say & U think~~

Its that time again.....
answers in the comments....
peek & i'll send ms chix to bite yer toes!..

Passport ::
Small world ::
Radio ::
Marine ::
Wall ::
Wanna be ::
Pigtails ::
Hyphen ::
9.99 ::
Unrated ::

~womens remote....~

A 'FRIEND' was so kind as to send me his version of the 'mens remote'...
i made a few edits & set it back....
what cha think?...

~click on it to link to a larger version~

~catch-up time....~

went to see Juno this eve....
brilliant....script & delivery
i cried..i laughed....i wavered (as in moved unsteadily back & forth)
not waiver(ed) (past tense of waiver ...to intentionally relinquish rights, claims or privilege)....
in my decision of who i felt compassion for & who i thought had evil agendas....
in my book.....when you to feel these emotions so strong in the 1.5 -2.0 hour time frame of a production....
the producers have done their job.....
go see it.... =)

it rained here today....
& i should have known that was to be the case later in the day.....
because i got up early w/ a doozy of a sinus headache....
took some tylenol sinus & after letting the babies back in .....
crawled back into bed for a couple more hours....

anyone who has seen my bed...((fellow bloggers & flickr-ites))
or spent some time watching movies on it....
come to az to spend some vacation time (pixie)...
&/or slept in it....((ahem....couple of people who i KNOW still read this blog.....)).....
know very well.....lying down in that bed....
& trying to extract yourself from it....
is akin to stepping into a huge piece of bubble gum on a hot summer day....

u may think you can just pull yourself away ....
free & clear...

but if you pause at all ....
you get pulled right back down into it.....
so.....when i finally got free of my lair....(mmm..interesting word)....

@ 2 oclock
(right when i was going to go tackle the rest of the backyard weeds)....
it started raining.....
& well...i LUV the rain...i felt energized ...
so i spent some time w/ chicken .....
cleaned little dirty girls room....
put down new bedding ...hung some new toys....
& laughed at her craziness that usually surfaces on rainy days.....
i think i'll get some pics of her tmrw....i would tonite.....but i think the noisy one is asleep =)

speaking of tomrw....it is going to be a busy day...
i have to drop off more tax numbers.....
mail a book back i did not order ....but showed up on my doorstep last week?!?!
finish the international review board application for the old PhD.....
do the weeds in the back
order some pics to be printed from Ritzpix...
& drop off some donations......
anyone need a 50 gallon tank?...w/ all the supplies?...
i have an extra one...& could really use the funds...

ok...going to go scrub the living floor before bed.....
mmmmm.....
luv the smell of mr clean....
errr....the cleaning liquid....
not the guy....
not that he smells bad....mind u...
but we've never met.....
toodles poodles...

~Happy Valentines my Blog-peeps~

OK....I'm done playing w/ food....
will someone pleeeease come & eat these?...
my butt doesn't need them =)

~~I say & U think~~

A Valentines Week Unconscious Mutterings.......
U know the drill....
answers are in the comments.....
no peeking.....

Score ::
Luxurious ::
Party ::
Limited edition ::
Security ::
Betty ::
Under construction ::
Pest ::
Director ::
Express ::

~they say the 3rd time is a charm....~

1. Third in the 100 re: me-meme’s
2. Everything is the same….yet so much as changed...
3. The older i get …the more i realize it is all an illusion….
4. Corporate jobs suck….they zap u of your essence…
5. The longer i am away from having one….the more i realize this
6. i am also more alive than I have been in yrs
7. That scares the shit out of me some days….
8. & other days?..its orgasmic ….
9. i am still working on the ole PhD
10. Thank god i zoomed thru the required shit before they allow you to do your study & get published or i would be really losing my mind….
11. Once again….i find myself single …
12. Only this time? i am more comfortable with it….
13. That also scares me some days….not the hanging around w/ myself…but the comfortable w/ no sig other….
14. Mental note to NOT get a cat…. ((Only leads to stereotypic rumors…))
15. Even if it were one of those hairless ones….(always wanted one)
16. i am sooo itching to get my next ink…..it is all planned….just need to justify the cost
17. Since my last meme….i acquired a rescue dog named KorKor….
18. in reality …she rescued me….
19. Ms Pebs (one of the minpins) died about 5 weeks ago….
20. We are all still adjusting….
21. Her passing marks the end of relationship icons from my marriage….
22. i was divorced in 2001
23. i am forming an LLC for my foto bus for tax yr 08
24. The new friendships i have formed as a result of my new foto-luv amazes me….
25. i currently have a 4 foot nitE blooming cacti trio wedged in between the front and back seat of my suv…..
26. Yeah…didn’t plan that all too well….(it is going to take two very brave neighbors to get it out)
27. See what happens when i find a bargain? oooh.....something shiny!
28. If i am still not working a steady gig ….i will be painting the house soon… it’s been since grad school (masters) that the outside got a fresh coat….
29. For all the talking i do about nothing…..this round of 100 items is a lot harder than i thought it would be….
30. i experienced kidney stones end of this past summer ……
31. My Buddhist practice doesn’t allow me to wish that pain on anyone…
32. But wow……would that be a cool power …..((oops….sorry Buddha))
33. Since my time off….i have managed to allow my nite creature tendencies to resurface…
34. It is 4 am …. & I am wide awake…..
35. i recently had 1340+ people view one of my fotos on flickr……..in 1 day…..
36. That picture made explore…….it was at no. 13 of the top 500 fotos uploaded for that day….
37. i have the flickr group roulette challenge to thank for it…..
38. Each challenge pushes my creative process….
39. i have started to make time to play the piano again now that i have been off work…
40. Hours go by before i realize it……
41. Years ago my mom sent me all my music from when i was child
42. It is fun to play music i played 30+ yrs ago….
43. i currently have 9610 songs on “big momma” my ipod…..
44. She is ½ full
45. i guess music IS a big part of my life….huh?
46. Now that I think about it…..i do have music ((or voices)) going on in my head all the time….
47. Kinda like my own movie soundtrack…..
48. Its feb 13th ….& currently 65 F …another beautiful day….
49. i LUV AZ winters…
50. i should be cleaning my house but i think i will go play instead today……go shoot some foto’s =)
51. At the very least….take the puppers for walkies……
52. i have no excuses…..beautiful day….healthy puppers….no job….need the exercise…
53. i finally bought a new vehicle ((since my last meme))
54. It is a Mitsubishi Endeavor
55. Got a gr8 deal on it……12k off sticker…10k off invoice
56. After driving mitsy ….i cannot believe i drove that jeep for 15 yrs…..
57. Says a LOT for chevy….or….my ability to take care of things….
58. My life must be rather uneventful ….i have 44 more of these to write….ugh!
59. i planted cacti & succulents yesterday…….sooo purty…. (oh...& one neighbor ...was able to get that beast out of Mitsy.... =)
60. Put them all inside the caged front door area…..by my garden Buddha
61. i think my buns are a tad burned from the tanning bed last nite….
62. Feels good
63. Does that make me a masochist?…..prolly not …..because by definition that requires that i derive sexual gratification from being physically or emotionally abused……& i most def will kick someone to the curb for the latter.
64. i guess it’s the physical pain i derive pleasure from……
65. Heh…..yeah…ok....me luvs a good spankin…..!
66. The kind that forms welts…..hand prints …squeeeee !
67. & piercings…..& tats…..
68. i also have been known to enjoy inflicting pain on partners……
69. Nothing like that first wince & quick intake of breath as they start to compute mentally what just happened….LOL .
70. Haven’t had a challenging partner in a LONG time….
71. i need to start planning a trip to TIBET…..if i plan it…..it will happen…..one way or another ….
72. i think i am in need of a good mental sabbatical…..a retreat of sorts….a visit to an area of the world that lives more in the moment than we do here in the states….
73. That tends to instill a certain level of preciousness to ones time here….i need to find that…
74. i often wonder if i will EVER figure out what i want to be when i grow up…
75. i think i do….
76. i know i want to find a income generating pastime that is filled w/ passion…..
77. i will never have to work another day in my life …..
78. i may be on my way w/ the foto-biz…..but it’s a tough gig to get to generate enough income….
79. my goal is to incorporate the PI & the foto biz….
80. Do forensic photography….
81. Dead people & shite….
82. i have cut up cadavers ….but not filmed a corpse …especially one that is the result of a crime…
83. i wonder if i have the stomach for it…..
84. i know i have the fascination for it…..
85. We shall see…….huh?
86. There are soooo many talented photographers that i admire and respect…..
87. Slow and steady wins the race……so they say….we shall see what that philosophy brings my life…
88. My left pinky finger has been slightly numb since weedpulling/ tree trimming activities last week…….i think my computer time contributes as well….
89. It used to be the same when i was working in IT fulltime & then working at nite on my PhD coursework…..
90. i haven’t been to see the chiro in over a yr….
91. OMG….zoe just farted ….& of course she is curled up in my lap as i work at the computer….WHEW! for such a little gal…..scary smells!!
92. In an effort to freshen the air…..i just realized i may have an incense obsession…..
93. i have boxes of candles from the Candles and Gift factory Outlet & buttloads of incense….
94. i burn both each & every day…..
95. It always smells like a combo of rain..leather…patchouli….& a yoga studio in my house…
96. My neighbors tease me that they can smell it out in the street….
97. Prolly because in addition to the incense burned inside each day….i lite some sticks each nite & place by the Garden Buddha w/ a candle…. A temple altar of sorts…
98. There is going to be a lunar eclipse in 7 nites…..2-20-08…..
99. i am looking forward to driving out to some secluded spot to get some foto’s…
100. & another meme is done……learn anything new?......

~~~ TMI TUESDAY~~~

1. what's the sexiest gesture a person you are sexually interested can make?
whisper something nasty ..... :::chills:::

2. what are 3 inevitable things about you?
my intelligence, my ability to 'read' people & the situation, & something i recently have accepted--> my 'intense-ness'

3. how many types of orgasms have you experienced?
HA! um...thinking really quickly...doing a mental run-down....9? & no i will not describe....

4. what asset do you have besides the physical and the material?
MENTAL!..have we not covered this?....

5. what do you want . . . . now?
less anxiety....

Bonus (as in optional):describe a sexy mind...one that questions the world in which we live in....one that challenges themselve....one that isnt afraid to be vulnerable....one that is uber honest....one that experiments....one that is sensually in touch.....& one that possesses intelligence..... =)
wanna play?.....click any of the icons....& join us =)

~OMG!....i wannnnnnnnt 1~

~trying to do 'the right thing'..whatever that is....~

ever try to do the right thing?...
with all the best intentions...
move forward wondering if what you have decided was noticed?...
reflected upon w/ positive intent?
knowing that it is really all u can do....

put it out into the universe...
hoping the universe will deliver the message w/ the love & acceptance w/ which the decision was made?

then later....
come to find out ...
thru 6 degrees of separation...
that your actions were...
in fact viewed ...
soooooooooooo not the way it was intended in the first place...
w/ love...
plain & simple...
w/ respect & love....

well...
that is where i sit...

after getting a phone call yesterday....

actually....i was told twice last week.....
"they knew who said it"...
fist off...
ask me if I care who the 'they' are in this whole scenario?..."yeah"...not so much....
but...
i do care about & miss dearly the person who this whole incident revolves around.....
we all worked together for years.....
the usual groups of friends formed...
inside & out of the work environment
bottom line?...
i am who i am either place....
yes...that prolly has been all along...
my downfall to reaching above the ranks i was at...
& thats ok....
i knew....i could sleep at nite....
i dont mince words....
i speak the truth.....
((& yes..i have learned over the yrs to ask..."are you sure you want my opinion"...))...
this behaviour trait of mine .....
has won admiration....caused rifts between people....& some people have left my life because of it....
& thats ok too....

so anyway.....

back to the issue.....
this person & i used to be thick as thieves.....
roadtrips....
pinky sweared secrets...
experiences that went into 'the vault' ....never to come out....

but that is now....
yrs ago....
she has since ....
accepted her 'cousin' who to my last understanding ....
was still married to a man...& father of her 4 children...
as her life partner....& were living toether in my previous friends home.....
so be it.....
i accepted ...
worried?...yes.....
but accepted.....
so many different dynamics going on....
such possibility for an unhappy ending
but they seemed to be getting thru it....
so i was happy for her....

unfortunately....
our bond fell to the wayside....
which is understandable....
new responsibilities....
less & less free time....
which when avail.....
now was focused on her relationship......
no more roadtrips.....
no more shopping sprees
no more just hanging out.....
times change...

so.....imagine my surprise when i read on her blog ....
they have bought another home ....
& moved......
no phone call....
no email...
no invite to the housewarming party that was shown in the pictures on her blog.....
hurt?...yeah i guess....
used to it?....also sadly yes.....
......u see .....we used to live w/in walking distance.....
now....who knows where she moved to....
& evidently....she didnt want me to know either.....
& i was more than willing to accept this .....
i'm not in the community....
a hetero....a bi...a non-lesbian....
i guess thats how i rationalize this all....
she & her 'cousin"partner...w/the four kids are now fully integrated into the community.....
no time for nonfamily friends......

now...the old DrM2B would've continued to email.....
invite for a random saturday roadtrip.....
like we used to .....
but i made a conscious decision to take a step back.....
not intrude....
not force an invitation....
not obligate....
after they moved .....w/ no word.

so....now ......((if you're still w/ me here)) we are present day....
& this previous friend still works where we used to together.....
& has very openly displayed the sonograms of her & her partners (& ?doner?) twins on her blog......
was i shocked....
no ....she had always wanted to be a parent.....
was i surprised they actually went thru w/ adding two more mouths to their family?....
not really....
i guess at this point.....i am so far removed .....i'm viewing it all as someone looking in.....
not a friend involved in the event.....

was i wondering 'wtf' when i heard thru the grapevine.....
that she 'had' to make an announcement at work regarding the babies.....
because 'someone" ((read...me)) had spoken to another previous co-worker....who then told someone who still works there....who then decided to ask her 'if she was preggers"......

yeah.....i was more than miffed...
first off.....why would someone NOT want to share something that is supposed to be a wonderful joyous loving event in their lives?.....
what kind of vibe does THAT send to the babies?....
why place blame on me....
when its public info....(um..out on the internets)....
i, unlike others w/in that org....still have working adult relationships w/ people i worked w/.....
relationships built on friendships....
we catch up on the phone....have lunch....check in on each other ...
the relationships didnt end....just because we didnt work together any longer....
i cannot say the same for all the others who still work there.....

& so now u see....
we're back to my original point...
i am who i was.....& will continue to be so going forward.....
someone who cared ....
someone who dearly misses her friend....
but also someone who thought she was respecting the space which grew over the last couple yrs.....
unfortunately.....also ....someone who is an easy scapegoat.....
& thats o.k.

~what i've been up to...~

5'8....ahahahah!

oh i crack myself up...

ok....

seriously....

i've been a busy widdle indian...

unfortunately there arent more little indians in a row

to help me out...

w/ the weeds...

& its the unfun kinds of weeds...

not...that i know what 'the fun' kind would be..

i've just read about that ...

u know...

in my doctoral research .....

ahem....

so.....

as you can see...

not...

oh...oh say can you see....

but....

AS you see...

since the rain blew thru here last week,...

((which...universe?...i am not complaining about....mmm'k?....send more!))

the weeds have appeared ....

as in 2 ft in 4 days...

its kinda interesting how quickly they take over the yard....

well...not to the pups...

cause they are having to pee in a jungle...

until i realize...

its on me....

to get rid of them.....

god i miss a man around the house.....

my territory is inside...

u...the one w/ the manly outside plumbing?..

yeah...

your territory matches...

out-side....

now ...

go...

so i can watch thru the window....

RAWR!.....

i also visited my accountant..

god i luv that woman...

because...

as u know...

i

havent been working....

so funds havent been flowing...

the creativity has....

((is that the tradeoff??))

anywho....

she is going to back date all the expenses surrounding foto's....

to '07 taxes...

& I'll write off ....new computer....camera...toys ((for the camera people!....)...

portion of the house expenses ((home office))...

mitsy and her auto stuff.....

& i should be sitting pretty damn good...

oh.....i forgot...

i get to write off all the PI shite too...

memberships..

equipment...

gunclub fees....

woot woot....

ok...going to lie down...

hands hurt from the weeding ....pinky is numb actually ....

whats up w/ dat?.....

i also have more reciepts to find and submit...

oh....& continue to look for a yobby.....

toodles poodles...

~blah blah blah.....~

not sure why i even blog anymore...
sure..
it fills that void..
in the middle of nite...

gives me the sense that i am talking to someone..
anyone...

seems the only peeps that comment are those that visit my foin aszz....
on my HNT's...
well ....& my man OS wOoT WoOt....& the pixie, Brico every blue moon...& of course sis B =)
the rest of u lurkers?....
yeah.....
what-ev!

now dont get me wrong here...
the Doc2b enjoys a little carnal attn...
who wouldnt....

but ....i wonder ....
does this shit even get read...
or ...
am i mentally masturbating ?....
getting carpel tunnel typing...
when i could be getting it in other more productive ways...

((on the 'puter u pervs....geesh!))

so.....anywho...
i sent in yet another version of my proposal...
suppose i should go over the PhD docs and update them....
meh...maybe later...

update on the relationship...
he took the pic down at my request...
of course that was after he pointed out that i had one up on my dating profile
where i had borrowed his motorcycle goggles...
ah...
yeah....not the same thing....
goggled DocM?...my camera....my post processing....my pic....
Beautiful pic of Brugge Belgium?...my camera....my postprocessing....my pic....

mmmm...dont understand his request...
but to show good faith....
i took it down....
funny thing tho?..
he also took down his pic of Hilda the new 335i bimmer.....& the harley...?
not sure what happened there....
chicks luv that shite....dude...
'specially if they're out to find a guy w/ cash.....
and a good time.....

havent heard anything from him.....
other than a nice 'lets play nice' email.....
since our discussion at my doorstep.....

is it too much to ask for a guy to really put his cards out ?
go for it...
face that fuckin fear of rejection w/ some vulnerability?
i dont think so...
in fact...
thats the quickest way to get me on your side....
show me that u're human...
have a heart...
and can express it....
thru words...
& actions....

oh....i was informed the other nite during a phone call...
that i was ....
and i quote....
"intense....more intense that the person who delivered the diagnosis"....
yeah...
like i havent heard that one before.... =)

i think i am numb...
not sure really what i want anymore...
i thought i did...
but it seems to be....
(as i have been advised as of late)
too demanding...
too picky...
too strong...
too independent...
too intimidating....
too emotional...
too highly sexed....
too brainy....
too eccentric....
blah blah blah......................................

y is it that all those qualities are a novelty that attract...
do they see me as a challenge?..
to be conquered?
a notch in the belt...
then move forward when it becomes too real?.....

well..doorbell just rang...
neighbors are over......
must go.....
then watch the new series "in treatment" on HBO...
good show!
go watch...
you might learn something.....

nite nite......

~musical mondays.....a rainy musical monday~

~HOME~
I'm so sick and tired
of all these things
that drag me down
I've got no where to go
they say that life
is in these hands
you give everything
you give yourself away you give
and still you choke
and find yourself running for the door

come and take me
home
lead me to your door
take me where you are
lead me to your....
door
at least just for a while

its some kind of life
forever days
we're in the cold
unfamiliar way
so take this fear
and fade it out
it won't make me sad
cause I get sentimental lord
in other ways
and I don't want to let me down here anymore

so come and take me home
lead me to your door
take me where you are
lead me to your door
and let me in
just let me in
and let me leave
just let me leave this world
come on now let me leave this world
at least just for a while

~LOL...if only...... =) ~

~i want a man who lives life like this guy~

~~I say & U think~~

U know the drill.....
answers in the comments.... =)
& NO PEEKING!!!

*********************
What women want ::
Epidemic ::
Taxes ::
Hello ::
Confidential ::
Lights ::
Summation ::
Hard feelings ::
Electric ::
Fresh start ::

~yeah...yeah....I know... HA!~

so...
I took this little personality thingy....
OVER HERE...
surprise surprise.....

REDS are motivated by POWER. They seek productivity and need to look good to others. Simply stated, REDS want their own way. They like to be in the driver's seat and willingly pay the price to be in a leadership role. REDS value whatever gets them ahead in life, whether it be in their careers, school endeavors, or personal life. What REDS value, they get done. They are often workaholics. They will, however, resist doing anything that doesn't interest them.

REDS like to be right. They value approval from others for their intelligence and practical approach to life, and want to be respected for it. REDS are confident, proactive, and visionary; but can also be arrogant, selfish, and insensitive. When others interact with you, as a RED you respond to them best if they are precise, factual, direct, AND show no fear!

~whatever.......~