~~TMI TUESDAY~~

(click on the picties to play =)

1. Toilet paper: over, under, or what the hell are you talking about?
OVER!! (is there a choice?)

2. Toilet when you are done: everything up, seat down but lid up, everything down?
Everything down......

3. When was the last time you kissed someone not your significant other? [I am talking about a kiss with some gusto not just a little hello or goodbye peck]
.....Valentines day this yr.....

4. Would U rather have your significant other (can be a hypothetical SO) have sex w/ someone else or fall in love w/ someone else? [U have to pick one.]
Have sex ........((while I watched of course......teehee ))

5. If u had $1,000,000 to give - how would U divide it up? Who & how much?
250k - Set up an animal shelter (no-kill)...250k off to Tibet....250k education fund for Native American girls.....& 250k to National Parks/wetlands & preservation for the wildlife.

Bonus (as in optional): Tell us something that very few people know about you.

um......I have not got on a plane since 911.

~~Taking the Time~~

...I cannot remember the last time I had a free hour or more to just sit & play =) After I send off my PhD schtuff to Dr. Jones.. get some groceries....finish the laundry.....& a couple other little things on my list....I plan on getting reaquainted w/ my baby......grande that is.......D is going out of town for a few days...... =(

~~updates to follow~~

well....Baxter wouldnt stop tormenting Pebs....
& doesn't seem to reaaaally understands the words "simmah down"
after much drama....
too upset to talk about it now....
he is now in the loving care of
minpin haven
at minpinhaven.com
her name is Patricia
& she calmed me down ....
er...stopped me from opening a can of whipass
on the neighbors....
he more than she...
oh...& white trash whore of a whatever U are?..
get off your daisyduked ass
hang up the cell phone....
& get your baby out of the street!!!
Off to D's for some lovin.....
good old fashioned F'in actually....
but its just not polite to talk that way......
toodles......

~~DreamBoat Annie~~

OMGoddess.....this concert ROCKED!...
I thought ToOl would be tough to beat
for overall emotional stim.....
NOPE.....
in fact...
I would venture to say that
Ann sounded EXACTLY (if not better...)
the same from the orig. DreamBoat Annie Album....
yeah.....
I said it.....
ALBUM!
& yes...I still have it =)
The venue was at the Celebrity....
small....& in the round....
best part?...The stage revolved.....

yup....I snuck my little Nikon in...
yup... got busted...

ooops....
ask me if I care.....
no..better yet...
ask the other 100 people I saw taking pics...

yup.....
that is ANN WILSON's pick =) & the playlist for the nite.....
the encore was fanfuckintabulous......
two LedZeps...
& of course.....
they rounded off the nite.....
w/ Nancy jammin on her guitar & Ann singin her heart out on
DreamBoat Annie........
thanx BOO!

~13~

13 Things I am Puzzled by:

1. the peeps w/whom i worked side-by-side (some for the last yr...some the last 6 mo's) seem to not be the peeps inside that i so wanted them to be.....the word i am looking for in their behavior (i.e no calls or comments) i am sad to admit is 'real'. What i mean by this is that i was 'real' at all times....& it hurts to realize they are not able to be the same.....when asked a question...or found myself in a conversation which required trust....i treated them as i wished to be....w/ honesty, openness & care. I have not heard a peep out of them since.......(well...Poodles are excluded =)
   
   
2. what the hell do i have to use on the driveway to get rid of the oil spills?...yeah.....'super-degreaser' from the auto store?...naht sooo much....
   
   
3. why am i not able to sleep at nite? even if i force myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour......not more than 4 hrs later?.....wide-awake!
   
   
4. will i ever be able to find BAX (doofus) a loving forever home?......he really needs a one-dog home.....& would be a wonderful little boy.
   
   
5. what does 'bokah' in regards to photography methods (DOF) really mean?
   
   
6. do i jump back into another IT contract (because the money is FABU)... or do i really need to take a parttime gig w/ enough hrs & money to leave me time & sanity to get my Dissertation / study done?
   
   
7. what the hell caused me to get kidney stones?....& worse....will i suffer thru that again?
   
   
8. what the hell is w/ all the ants this yr? I have nevah had them this bad.....ZOE had little welts on her the other morning...... mean little buggers biting my babies makes me MAD!
   
   
9. should i get the ink i have been pondering over for the last yr or so? Or is it because i am off.....that my mind is occupied by more creative things .......
   
   
10. y do i subconsciously give myself permission to participate in 'creative' activities....pasttimes...hobbies when i am between contracts?......
    
    
11. is it possible to find a job that will feed both my wallet....&....my creative energies?
    
    
12. is 9527 songs on my IPOD excessive?
    
    
13. will i get thru my 'list' of shite to do around the house b4 i go back to work?....does anyone ever get thru the "list"? LOL
    

~~TMI TUESDAY~~

1. Leather, lace or silk?
ALL 3

2. Do you subscribe (or regularly buy) to any "dirty" magazines? Which ones?
I get the 'toys in babeland' site newsletters.....other than that I do not buy any mags....

3. Have you ever had sex in water (tub/pool/lake/ocean)?
all the time =)

4. The three words that best describe you in bed are:
insatiable, creative, & willing.
Three words that best describe your most recent partner in bed are: freak,driven, & sensual.

5. Did you lose your virginity as an impetuous youth, "to prove that you loved" him/her, because of a romantic gesture, a newly wed or other (please describe because I can't think of what an "other" might be)?
Previously covered ........but long story short...opportunity knocked at an explorative age....it was a good experience =)

Bonus (as in optional): Name three words that:
a) get you excited
cock, spankings, & anything dirty whispered.....

b) make you squirm
(in a good way) ..pussy, fuck, now

c) make you laugh
but-tocks, weenie, kittycat

~~BAX, BOOKS...& a DayTrip to Cali~~

Friday, BAX & I went w/ STU for a daytrip to Cali...
might as well...huh?...
not working or anything.....
It was a looooong day....
but...could've been worse...
BAX was a GR8 car pup...
as long as we didn't talk... heehee....
from the start to the first rest stop...
he was in my lap....
or sleeping at my feet under the dash...
but the majority of the way there....
he was in his crate with a bone....
& toys....
once we got to Cali....
Stu went & did his contractor thing....
& BAX & I hung out ....
went for walkies.....
took pics......& left free books from a fellow Flickr Author.....
SMALLDOGSPRESS.com is her site.....
she had become very disenchanted w/ the book publishing industry....
& decided to just send her inventory
out to anyone who would agree to leave them
as a travelling book project.....
I took pics of the places along the way to Cali...
that I left one or gave them to people.....
I have quite a lot more to give away....
but surprising it is a gr8 way to meet people....
tell them her story....
& share two gr8 books !!
click on my FLICKR side pics to see the pics so far =)

~~I thought Mercury was done w/ his shenanigans....~~

I'm off to run errands....
unemployment wants paperwork...
my fax machine is not cooperating ....
so I think I'll take the opportunity
to do some other shite...
U know.....
pool water analysis......
groceries...
puppy treats
drop off donations.....
tar-jaaay....
cause its the happiest place on earth as far as I'm concerned..... =)
toodles poodles....

~~QuestioN~~

so.....have U ever had to strain YOUR pee?.....
yeah...
kinda...ok...REALLY weird...
not weird that I have to do this...
but more that there is A LOT of little stuff in pee
little round things
little oblong things
lite in color....
dark in color....
see-thru floaty things...
ones that sink...
ones that float....
ones that sorta float..sorta sink...
ones that sink if U wait long enough...

& they cannot ALL be kidney debris...or stones?!?!
could they be toilet paper dust?...

or would that technically be called "clitty-litter"?
:::I'm just sayin':::

~~TMI TUESDAY~~

Click on little label to participate =)

1. What's the sexiest type of underwear?
Women? ...brazilian thongs....or those oldfashioned gartered panties.....Men?....tight boxershorts.

2. Would you/have you ever paid money for sex?
nope

3. Is facial/body hair sexy or no? (Moustache, chest, etc. for men, and underarms/legs for women.) Or do you frankly not care?
fu man ok....bald uber hot...other than that....prefer trimmed or shaved.... =)

4. What is the strangest thing you've ever seen featured in pornography?
scatting...beastiality...

5. What's worse, not enough sex or too much? Is there such a thing as "too much"? Not enough is worse......& I would have to say ....no ....never too much...& I say this because sex doesnt always have to be a hot & heavy down & dirty session......it can consist of soft...caresses....long lingering kisses.....a sensual body rub....... =)

Bonus: What's the most illegal thing you've ever done (that you can admit to, at least)? Were you caught? I plead the 5th....

~~KidneyStoneS~~

~~UrgenT CarE VisiT~~

So....
Saturday I woke up feeling really wiped out.....
but the side pain had subsided....
I thought I was in the clear.....
just a little more being careful to not overextend myself....
lots of liquids....
rest....
its all good?!

1/2 way thru the day ...I actually felt well enough to 'Dyson' the house to death...
can I just say...
there should be a national Dyson Holiday....
because...
that...vacuum... ROCKS!

took garbage out...shredded more stuff....
some laundry went in....
& time for shower...

mmm....I haven't eaten all day...
go out....run a couple errands....eat din din...
borrow "shooting aces" movie from Stu...
& lay down at 9:30 or so to watch.

um...yeah.....
precisely at the same time as the nite before.....
10:30...I am in tears.....screaming from the pain again.

OH HELL NO!
NOT AGAIN
now...knowing full well
what hell was to come.....I call D.....
"come get me...".....sob..sob...."it is starting again...."..."please!"
while I waited......I called BCBS.....
poor helpdesk person....
listening to me try to get info....in between sobs....
on closest urgent care at this hour of the day...
he assures me that the addy he rattled off to me ....
is open.....
I call....just in case

NOT OPEN!
so .....I throw the phone down....& run next door....
well...walk reeeeeally gingerly....

scared the shit out of Char.....knockin on her door @ 11:00 pm...
woke her up out of a sound sleep.....
bent over in pain....crying....
"where is the nearest urgent care!??!"
she grabs purse & proceeds to try & figure out what the hell is happening to me...
I told her to come sit w/ me while D gets across town...

he hit construction....calls...& we all agree
Char should take me....he will meet us....

I paced the waiting room for 1/2 hr...
get called in...registered......pee in cup....& wait more....
D arrives & we wait another 1/2 hour or so......b4 I can get into emergency area...
Nurse ratchet comes in ....takes my cc for deductible.....
PA TOBY comes in...gets verbal description of my pain ....
((which really shouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out.....))
I eventually get a catscan.....
5 -6 tubes blood drawn.....
urinalysis....
& told a nurse would be in soon w/ my pain meds....
& that if I didn't hear anything from her in about 5... to ring the bell......

yeah......about 30 seconds went by.....
I asked D..."has it been 5 yet?"....
YUP.. he says....push that button ...
guy nurse wearing little john deer tractors on his scrubs comes in....
(same one who took all my blood earlier)

says....well I guess U want something for that pain....huh?
gee.....what was your first fuckin clue ace?

the rocking back -n-forth like an autistic child?...
the pacing?
the wincing pain on my face?
or my sailor like smart ass commentary to all the staff?

Hook a sistah up !

so....one large juicy-juice IV bag of wonderment later.......
I am swaddled like a baby ....
on the gurney...finally able to breathe....
& carry on a conversation......

PA TOBY ...comes back in...
comments on the UTI...
& the blood in my urine...
the angry state of my kidney.....ureter... & bladder ...
She says another nurse will be hookin me up...
w/ another little bag of concentrated antibiotics...
wheeee!..

other little bag of juicy juice gets hooked up...
lites go down...
D goes out for a break......& i takes a little nap....ahhh =)...
it is 5:30 am ....afterall....might as well...huh?

Finally ..the man of the hr...
Dr. Rodriguez saunters in.....
& proceeds to tell me the cat scan shows I passed a stone while I was there...
& it was still in my bladder...
he affirmed ......that since it was a play by play repeat of the day before...
as far as the pain location....movement & level...
this was prolly the second stone...
gr8......

yeah....I'm stubborn....& had to admit that when the doc was like...."ah...why didn't you come in yesterday?..."

Keep in mind.....
this was after the nurse explained to me
that I didn't puke from a physiological relationship between
the stone migrating to a certain spot in the ureter...
but rather because the brain
has a natural defensive reaction
when the body experiences a certain level of pain...
....
on the pain scale of 1 -10....
when the body hits the threshold of 10+
it's defensive move is to make you pass-out.
because that causes less physical damage....
but first....
The brain tells the stomach to empty...
in case theres poison to get out before passing out...

:::crickets chirping:::

yeah...I'm an idiot...
but ..how 'bout that pain threshold huh?....LOL

& after D witnessed what I was going thru,
he was amazed at my stupidity too.

"tell me again...
why U didn't just go to urgent care yesterday when this happened the first time?"

I know ...I know...
well...I now know...whenever that VERY distinct pain starts again...
even a HINT of it?...I'm off to urgent care! lol

I also asked for some pain meds in case it starts again...

They sent me home w/ little strainers to strain my pee...
all my lab reports...
receipts
scripts for antibiotics....motrin 800 ...& 10 precious vicodins...

Finally got home
took a shower...
& crawled into bed at 6:30 am... =(
D & I got about 5 hrs sleep ...b4 activities started again...

U know....puppies out...phs ringing....etc...after Stu stopped over to borrow Mitsy...
cause his car is still in the shop...
D took me to get my meds......& then boogied back to his side of town...

Of course ...I crawled right back on that couch...
turned on the 59 in...
put in a movie from Stu...
wrapped myself into a nice soft velour blankie...
set up liquids....took meds
turned lites off ....lit candles
....got all snuggled w/ puppies....
& fell asleep... =) PAINFREE!

~~Latest pics of the BOY-pup~~

~I would Rather Give Birth to a HippO!!~

According to Wikepedia on Kidney Stones:

Renal colic is a type of pain commonly caused by kidney stones.

The pain typically begins in the kidney area
or below it & radiates through the flank (side area between ribcage and groin)
until it reaches the bladder.

The pain is colicky in nature,
((comes on in spasmodic waves as opposed to being a steady continuous pain)).
It may come in two varieties: dull and acute;
the acute variation is particularly unpleasant.
It has been described as one of the strongest pain sensations felt by humans.

Most small stones are passed spontaneously
& only pain management is required.
For this type of pain, strong Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAID) such as Diclofenac provide better pain relief than opiates.
Lying down on the non-aching side
& applying a hot bottle or towel to the area affected may help.
If the pain is not too intense, a more speedy release of the stones may be achieved by walking.

OK.....
so....after being up all thru the nite
((nothing new for me))...
finished my budget...
posted pictures to flickr
updated resume on DICE
wrote some emails regarding my PhD plans to my committee chair & cohorts.......
the girls ....& boy....& momma
laid down......

About an hour later....
I was jolted awake by THE MOST INTENSE PAIN
in my lower back & side.....
nothing I have ever experienced before...

(side note....)
I have had to pee alot more this past week
& I thought it was just a normal reaction to my conscious efforts to drink more water....

WRONG!!
it is true...hind sight is 20/20

when I got up to pee....I noticed .....in addition to the intense pain going on in my side.....
that it felt like a bladder infection had set in....
SHIT......FUCK....dammit.....
I hobbled down the hall to the kitchen.....
took my UTI pills....
drank huge glass of H2O ...
& grabbed the bed buddy..threw it in the micro to heat it up......
& went back to bed......

well...that wasn't going to be enough relief.......
the muscle spasm had now increased to include not only the lower back...
& the side....
but also the lower front area ....
like when you are REALLY constipated......
((sorry...only reference I could think of .....)).

now ...about this time....I get a text from D.....telling me he noticed I had updated my Yahoo dating profile......
with a ....."hmmmm"at the end of his text....
no "hey baby"...no...."miss u"...no "LUV U"...no have a good day off.....blah blah blah.....
yeah.....the last think I want to be dealing w/
as I am rocking back & forth...crying from the pain......
wondering where those left over mental cramp pain pills are.....

ok...relationship issues aside.....
I poured the hottest bathwater I could and crawled in......
that eased the pain for a short time.....
but shortly after I got out & dried off....
it was back.....as intense as before....
.....the other decision I was wrestling with?......being that I am unemployed.....
if I get an interview Monday for some gr8 job....
I would have to drug test prolly wed or Thursday after signing papers.....
If I took the pain pills a friend gave me......
it could be an issue......

well....at this point in the game ....
fuck that....was my conclusion....
I took the hydrocodone ...found the ice pack in the freezer....
& laid down.....
dingdong.....
BUDS here to p/u Alex....

ALEX is the little Alexandrian parrot who has been bouncing from house to house....
KorKor wants to eat him....
so he has been relegated to the back bedroom the last three months.....
I have felt bad about that .....
& know BUD & Scott LUV him......
so ....off he went......
=)

ok.....hydrocodone is starting to kick in...
I lay down to get about 2 hours good sleep.....

dingdong...
STUART's here !
we caught up on all the latest gossip....shared a couple oreo cookies.....
& Baxter tried to bite him numerous times...
in between playing fetch & kissing/cuddling in his lap.....
yeah...NOT ALL THERE...
Psycho-dog.....LOL

gave Stu all the instructions in case I need to go to urgent care later .....
& went back to bed......
2-3 hrs later....
hydrocodone has worn off......
& I feel like I would rather give birth to a HipppO! .....

OMG.....I wish this level of pain on NO -ONE.....well..maybe one or two people.....
......I am cryin at this point .....breathing like a women doing her lamaz exercises.....
& wishing I would die.......as the pain has not only decided to increase....
but also moved to a strange spot between the side and the front.....
immediately I start to think ......appendix?!?

I crawl to the kitchen.........
dogs are wondering WTF is going on w/ momma.....
& try to drink some water w/ more ITU pills.....
grab the other squishy ice pack thingy......
& find the vicodin stash.....
pop that baby......
crawl back down the hall...& try to get comfortable.....
yeah....fat chance...
it was more like writhe w/ pain trying to find a way to sit or lie down that didn't send waves of nausea & pain....

about an hour goes by .....I am a sobbing mess......
& I start to realize I should go to urgent care.....
enough of this self-medication......

well...it was also at this point that I started to wrestle w/ the relationship issue of
"if I call Stuart.....& not D...will D be upset ?...."
& ..."If I call D.....I'll have to wait an hour + for him to get to this side of town....."

I decided on what I felt was a logical & fair compromise....
to text D....
fill him in.....wait for my ever-so-loving...caring ....mainsqueeze....
to text me back with his clever & logical advice to call a neighbor or STU to take me ......& he would meet me.......

so....I send over "I have been doubled over w/ pain since 6 am (it is now 5 pm) I think I am passing a kidney stone....the pain has gone back to side to front.....I think U need to come & take me to urgent care"....

:::crickets chirping:::
yeah.....6:15 .....he texts back...just got your mssg....R U ok.....then calls about 20 minutes later.....conversation lacking of any real concern occurs......I tell him I'll call Stuart if I need to go to urgent care....since he lives 10 minute away .....
tell D I'll call him later .....
& hang up.....to go back to sleep......

thank god the vicodin had kicked in.....
or I would've been a wee bit more ((okay.. A LOT more )) emotional ........

wow....good thing I wasn't in real need ...huh?.......
mind you.....after I texted him...
I crawled back down the hall to get the pepto bismol....because the nausea part of a kidney stone was getting really intense ....
& I have this thing about not throwing up......
too late.....walked as fast as I could down hall to bathroom .....
wished I had someone to hold my hair.....
& proceeded to puke ...
not once....
not twice.....
nope....three times was the charmer....
now.....the intensity of this puke session.....also caused me to pee on every 'outburst' of liquid......
niiiice visual......huh?...
....back into the hot shower....
& back to bed......

finally got a couple pain free hours of sleep.....
got up around 10 ....ate some soup.....drank more liquids....
& laid back down.....
still no response from D........
wow......
of course I texted him....a little note....
indicating I am now fully aware of how little he cares for me......& how sad I am by that......told him his nurturing skillz sucked! & that I was going back to bed.....

I can not tell U how sad & confused I am by his lack of concern......
yes...he is a very busy...very important (to his org) person......
but come on! .....your girl is passing a kidney stone on a friday nite.....
& U can't bring yourself to drive over to check on her!?,
how fuckin selfish can that be!

it would've been nice to lie in his arms...
had my back rubbed.....
& cuddled during all this...
but I guess that was too much for him to want to do.....
ok.....now I am all sad again.....
going to go cuddle w/ the pups & watch some movie.....
nite nite.....my blog bitches....

~~Triskaidekaphobia~~

Triskaidekaphobia is the fear of 13, a number commonly associated with bad luck in Western culture. While fear of the number 13 can be traced back to medieval times, the word triskaidekaphobia itself is of recent vintage, having been first coined by Coriat (1911; Simpson and Weiner 1992). It seems to have first appeared in the general media in a Nov. 8, 1953 New York Times article covering discussions of a United Nations committee.....((for more info....click on the 13))

~13~

NO...it is not me....(& borrowed from Jason ...)
butt....LOL...get it?...huh?...Butt?....
I am a Sagittarian....

OK...
on to the 13 things I am going to do FRI.....

1. Finalize my unemployment papers
2. paint the kitchen floor spots that I created last wk
3. go over budget - see how long $ will last =(
4. pay bills
5. write mom & dad
6. drop off Alexandrine parrot @ BUD's (1 less pet ... yeah! =)
7. wash Jeepy...get ready for sale
8. insure her for 1 month so test drives are ok
9. go thru clothes not wearing......donate
10. send last round of rewrites to Dr. J w/ IRB application rough draft
11. install gun safe
12. finish the 280 cd's loading into BigMomma
13. send some cover letters & resume to jobs on DICE
    

its been a strange 2 weeks.......
on one hand....
I've actually got 8+ hours of sleep a nite....
I KNOW....
I can not believe it either....
& it is amazing.....
HOW GOOD THAT FEELS......LOL
I've organized all my foto stuff
which was all over the place.....
moved the office
stained the chairs to match the new table
bought the new table....
caught up on all my DVR'd stuff...
shredded 12 yrs worth of docs....
cleaned out the fridge....cabinets...floors...
& best part?...spent quality time w/ my babies...

NOW.....on the other hand....
I didn't make any money...
didn't talk to any prospective employers...
ignored my neighbors...
made no phone calls to friends to catch-up.....
have become really accustomed to being a hermit...
have started functioning only in the middle of the nite.....again....
maybe I need to get a 3rd shift job again!??

~~well?....did I do good?!~~

~~New ToyS~~

Not THAT kind U pervs!... =)
My Camera lenses came from B& H.....

I bought a Lens Adapter -New wide angle lens & a filter.....

The Panasonic DMW-LA2 Conversion Lens Adapter:
*Allowing for users of the Lumix DMC-FZ7 (8) Digital Cameras to extend the camera's shooting capabilities by allowing for add on lenses. Compatible lenses and filters include Panasonic DMW-LT55, DMW-LW55, DMW-LC55, DMW-LND55 & DMW-LMC55

Of course I had to then purchase one of those afore-mentioned lens
& the telephoto was out of stock.....
so I went w/ the wide-conversion lens.....

The DMW-LW55....which:
* Provides 0.7x Multiplication factor on the camera focal length.
* Widens the viewing angle with an equivalent focal length of approximately 24mm.

for fun I also ordered a new filter which is suppose to:

The DMW-LND52 :
* enable slow shutter speeds to be used, especially with high speed films, to record movement in subjects such as waterfalls, clouds, or cars

* decrease depth of field by allowing wider apertures to be used, which helps separate subjects from their background.....

& here they are fresh out of the delivery: ( L->R) Wide Conversion Lens...Filter....& conversion lens adapter to allow for fit onto my camera.

Nekkid....& ready to roll......

This is w/ the filter on & w/out the wide angle-lens..no Photoshop.

No wide angle.....no filter....no PS...(( HI Zoester =))

Same position.....w/ new wide angle lens...no filter...no PS..((well...& no ZOE...))

Not sure what that big shadow is that shows on the last one?~
Perhaps I shall read the directions....lol
Anywho......kinda cool huh?......
I have the telephoto on order .......
((since they were out of stock....))
ok/...It is 6:30......must get some writing done....
& maybe I'll tackle the pup-poo's when it cools down a bit.....
ciao for now ...my biotches....