~my latest complaint w/ my esteemed PhD~

are you kidding me?

first, i complete the ADDITIONAL requirements ( at the last minute announcement, mind you), then I send a note explaining my views,concerns & opines regarding this new hoop, & then to add the icing to this mud cake of a process Capella seems to have created..... I go back into the additional courseroom to check if I have any further information to read? & THAT POSTING HAS MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED!?!

yeah...why not....its only my financial aide money...its only what I depend on to buy groceries, pay my light bill, put gas in my car so I can continue this uber frustrating process I started almost 5 yrs ago.

but wait!~ theres more.....

I decide to call Capella Support to calm my fears regarding this whole process....& what does the robot phone system lady tell me (which btw? to my surprise is working today...) "sorry, call back later....all learner support is on a team building event!?!?!?

R u kidding me?...no one there to answer the phones?

well..I shouldnt be surprised, there were no emails telling me this term I was enrolled...I had to call to find out. There was NO call back to even acknowledge my mssg or internal email communication yesterday....& today...NO ONE to talk to....

thanx.....I feel SOOOO valued as a Capella learner.

& yes ...I know this note is rather caustic......so be it. They say the squeaky wheel gets the grease....lets see if the old adage is true....

your "was really happy to refer people to capella learner.....now...not so enthusiastic about this whole thing...." PhD learner....

minta

~I say...& u think~

Been a long weekend....
got all the latest PhD docs submitted to all the different Dr's that needed them....
tomrw i will f/u w/ the local indian health services to see if my study will be approved.....
so...
please cross your fingers, toes...any other appendages that will help =)

I also had an over-the-internets disagreement w/ that arrogant crunchy granola chick in canada who linked my pic from flickr to her diatribe on "good equipment does not a good photographer make"....
what a loon....
(of course she didnt word that analogy as creatively as i.... )
but then, according to her, i must have a better word processor...
because it wouldnt be my intelligence that would allow that .....?!? ~ OY~

I also got rid of the couch that i replaced =)
...a nice young couple wanted it...so ...much better than just going to a landfill....
even if they only use it for porch sitting...or out in the garage.

Stu-beans got a dog....
i'll write more when i get home ...
after i process the pics i took of him this afternoon......
what a sweet dog!....an australian cattle heeler....
or something like that....
he is beautiful....
& yes...i said ...when i get home.....
where am i? u ask...at 10 pm on a sunday nite?....
well....i came into the office to clean the puter of all docs that could be personal....
all internet links that would be mine....
printed off copies of the evil emails from the prick i wrote about the other day....
& basically cleaned off my desk...

just.in.case.

u know....in case monday brings unemployment after my pissy phone call the other day.
I think we (the prick, his boss...& i)
will be sitting down in the am to hash things out....
send good juju that i dont lose it....& stand my ground....
k?.... =)

OK...now....
u know the game.....answers are in the comments..... chat at cha later....

Gossipping ::
Misplaced ::
Spaceship ::
Ignore ::
Bodily ::
Tweezers ::
Goodnight ::
Curls ::
Faucet ::
Right? ::

~Happy FUTAB from the pups ~

~Happy FUTAB from the pups ~, originally uploaded by ~mintas.fotos~.

ok....i figured why this stupid quick shot that i took for FUTAB....
has been visited 685 times so far in two days.....

granted this bitch --> babyslime.livejournal.com/483304.html obviously has traffic going to her site....
but ....come on .....u're kidding right?

she used this picture in her example of what u can do when searching in flickr for pictures using tags...
she further went on to state that this pic was an example of "most recent" .....
& picked another as an example of "most interesting"....

her point? ...other than being an insulting bitch ...
was to state in comparison that its not the tool (i.e. my D300) that makes a photographer.....

well no shit ...isn't she the master at stating the obvious?......LOL
um.....hey.....care to take a look at the rest of my stuff?......& who the fuck is she to point fingers .......

get a f'in life......
oh...wait.....thanx for the traffic......i guess?....I am hoping some of her readers look beyond the egotistical rudeness that she spouts.....& take a look around w/out judgment.......why couldn't she send me a flickr note?..advising me ...asking me......

do i have to make this a f&f only to avoid people like her?.....unbelievable....

~5308~...settling into the couch for the nite~

originally uploaded by ~mintas.fotos~.

ok...beginning RANT~

so...in addition to aunt flo making me miserable yesterday...
the issue that is my 'psycho-c*ck-sucker, control-freak, insecure, ultra-conservative' PM & i finally came to verbal blows....
over the phone...me at home ...he ...i dont care where...
..
the same shite has been happening...
so i had my IT consulting firm rep call to find out what was up his a**.

in addition to the other micromanaging bullshite he spouted...
he mentioned to her that i have used company resources to play games
(stapler kidnapping & ppt w/ list of demands)....

back the f*ck up poindexter!~
i informed her of the truth....
I had shared the humor w/ him...that i had sent him a copy....
thinking we were bonding ....& he (for three weeks now ) has been holding this misconception against me...
what a f*ckin loser!~

i sent her the original email
(created on my home computer at 2 am from my gmail account)....
HA! company resources my ass .....
again....what.a.fu*kin loser!~
.
((ok...who am i kidding w/ the astericks....lol))
.
so at her suggestion to communicate ...
he sent me his list of "new work requirements"
in it... he included
" no work from home w/out his approval" ,
1 wk notification for ANY time off,
and the clincher?
...a daily "end of day" call
to TELL.HIM.WHAT.I.HAVE.ACCOMPLISHED.
yeah....jump off mofo.....
.
after my call to my rep....to blow steam...& get her consensus....
i did my daily call....
& i know u are all thinking...
"well....i am sure THAT went well?" HA!
um...yeah....NO!~i'll save u all the ridiculous details...
.
when i asked in writing for clarification of the 'new rules' he wrote: " thats what I need"
.
after i verbally asked for better clarification ...he answered " i dont owe you any explanation"
.
so ....me being me...pushed further....by asking ....ok David....do you want me to tell u when i pee?...when i eat something...what i am drinking for the day?..
lol
the prick hung up on me.....
yeah....real professional behavior there mr PM.....
.
so i called HIS boss at home..... =) explained what happened two wks ago when he YELLED at me in private coupled w/ what went down today was the equivalent of harassment. I further stated, that because i was scared of this guys rage towards me....& since no-one was going to be in the building on our team besides he and i on friday.....i would rather not be there......in essence... i was asking permission to take a personal day.....he concurred......said he would f/u w/ the prick friday & if necessary we would all sit down monday....

i then wrote the prick an email......advising that after speaking w/ his boss & my IT rep....it was decided best for me to take a personal day.....

long story short ....(if you're even still reading)
today was spent sleeping.....& wondering if i will have a job come monday.....
.
u know......at then base of all this shite is the fact that he doesn't respect me, believe that my actions are done w/ positive intent, & has formed incorrect negative opinions of my behavior, beliefs & work ethic.......people...life's to short....to put up w/ others who are as miserable as he is in their existence.....

i didn't go back into the work force to be unhappy....if i learned anything last yr ...during my time off....it was that life is too short to not be happy everyday.....i want to live my life joyfully...w/ passion....& not be around unkind people.....this might be turning point.....yet again..... =)

~&....SCENE!~

~escapism~

its been quite the week...
i feel as if a small portion of ME got sucked out...
slowly....
almost didnt notice...
until i assessed my lack of 'zaniness"...
my lack of smartass-ness....
& measured it against my "want to crawl into bed & escape" levels....

i'm at that 'pulled in different directions' spot again....

u know the place.....
its at the crossroads of
"want to crank the tunes, dance & create art"
&
"must be responsible adult, play nice, & make money to support your creative habits"......

I hate standing in those crossroads.....

I'm so much better at being
'suffering artist'.....
'creative nite-owl'...
"crazy neighbor lady w/ all the animals who seems to be having an affair w/ her USP guy'.....

i sit here all day......
playing corporate mouse in the cubical maze....
thinking of all the pictures i could take....
how to set them...
the subjects...
the colours....
the mood.....
the message
the hidden story....

but then when i get my nite pass to leave the maze.....
i forget them....or am tooo tired to get them....or the sun has disappeared...... =(

oh...well...
got another meeting....
to go over another report....
a survey this time...
that i created...
to pick the brains of my pilot testers...wheeeeeee!~
it will be interesting to see the level of responses from the other mice.....

maybe i should add cheese to it when i send it out?.........

~questions~

1. r u serious?...lady...i was standing at the sink in the washroom...rinsing my contacts....u DID NOT just waltz out of the stall ...after flushing....& make a beeline for the door?!?!.....good god woman....we are at work!.....u are disgusting!.....((note to self....always use paper towel on handles in all areas of building......))
   
   
2. what is it about two people walking towards each other who do not work together side by side...but perhaps pass each other in the building.....((which houses 1000's of people thru-out the day)) ....that can not....must not...WILL NOT make eye contact.....or say hi.....!?!?...am i the odd-ball here?..have i been out of the workforce too long this last hiatus?......jeezychreezy......its a simple acknowledgement... a simple nod, a simple smile, god forbid we take it up a notch & actually say HI!?!? .....fuckers
   
   
3. what corporate organization that functions on a 24 hour basis ((IT industry)) has a cafeteria (shitty, dead-animal based, at that)) that closes at 1:30 in the afternoon?!?!.....i had to practically beg the sweet little Hispanic guy behind the deli to give me a scoop of egg salad......& a slice of cheddar cheese......then i thought i would get adventurous?....& bought the homemade ...ranch kettle chips?!?..um yeah....MISTAKE......i wouldn't care about the cafe closing at 1:30 if it weren't such a pain in the ass to go down there floors ...across the parking lot.....drive out of the gate secured campus.....go get lunch ....& make the trek back to my desk on the third floor (( in 100+ degree'd weather soon)).....
   
   
4. Y does my dog KorKor make it her personal mission in life to chew every pen possible that she can get a hold of?......she has even figured out that there is a plethora of them on the desk .....so when momma is at work?! pen par-TAY!.... ordered new pens from staples last nite.....& will now need to put the pen-bucket up on the bookshelf......gotta luv a smart dog...i think she secretly wants some 'ink' on that pearly white bod of hers......
   
   
5. ok...not sure if you all in other parts of the country have this issue......Pixie & veritably bare can prolly relate since they live in southern states......but ....people! ..this is a corporate ((really nice, newly built)) building ......if you come from a country, home. neighborhood, or upbringing that required (s) you to place your toilet paper not in the toilet .....due to poor plumbing issues......that DOES NOT mean it is necessary to just throw it on the ground below the toilets here !?!?....R U KIDDING ME!...come on!......GROSS!.....
   

~ok....got that out of my system..WHEW!.thanx for listening...tomrw is FRIDAY!! toodles...~

~makes the sinus meds work better?~

BIG sinus headache for the last couple days....
seems allergy season is in full swing for me....
BAH!.....
still waiting on my fed refund....
the website said it was to be here by 11th....
UM...today?!
so....hopefully its tomrw....
if not...i will be raising holy hell......
the state check showed up last week...
& i wanted to deposit them together...
:::nicer impact to the checking acct:::

i have to miss the zoo trip tomrw w/ stubeans & the nephew....
stupid interview that i prolly won't get an offer for....
since its also w/ the same org that must have a huge X across my previous file....
i just wish someone would verify the dragon lady's got something to do w/ it all...
but that would prolly be career suicide for that honest person....
dont cha wish just once in a while.....
u had the ability to see the outcome of some peoples karma?!?......


i did get a chance to pop off some of the lomo camera shots...
can not wait to finish the roll.....& get the negs back....
i finished labeling ALL the pics on my image site....
that was a chore in the mundane....
ever sit & try to think of all the simple words that would lead a search engine to pull up a pic?...
BRAIN DRAIN....
anywho....click HERE to see the new galleries & their contents....=)

~Boo YA...MotherFuc*ers~

well....i hit the send button ....on 120 pages of blah blah blah.....

1. now we wait.....
2. Dr. XXXX should send back an answer to 2 of the items in the international review board application that i had no clue how to answer....
3. & then it is off to the rest of the committee.......
4. they get 2 wks to read...
5. comment & send back w/ their 2 cents....
6. i do the edits according to their suggestions....
7. i send it back....
8. Dr. XXXX sends it to the Dean .....
9. the Dean gets 2 wks to add their input...
10. note questions....& send it back....
11. i do THOSE edits.....
12. send it back to Dr. XXXX.....
13. she puts her stamp of approval......
14. it goes back to the Dean for their stamp of approval.....
15. then back to Dr. XXXX.....
16. she sends it to the IRB.....
17. they say yay or nay.....
18. i change whatever the IRB isnt happy w/....
19. Then i schedule a call w/ my committee to defend what i want to do in my study......
20. this gets approved.....
21. then...& ONLY then do i finally get PERMISSION to conduct my study.......((the study i have been writing a proposal towards for the last oh....yr and a half!))
    

FU*k me!.....
so...cross your fingers...toes...eyes....other appendages if possible
((wink wink nudge nudge)).....
i am going to go shower.....
sign my tax papers.....
mail those ........
((HUGE tracks of refund... btw ))....
go tan....
walk the puppers....
take some fotos for my 2008:yr in pics series....
do some laundry.....
& get ready for an interview i have tmrw......
yeah...when it rains it pours......
i also have to finish getting my foto's up for sale =)....
toodles poodles....play nice.....

~trying to do 'the right thing'..whatever that is....~

ever try to do the right thing?...
with all the best intentions...
move forward wondering if what you have decided was noticed?...
reflected upon w/ positive intent?
knowing that it is really all u can do....

put it out into the universe...
hoping the universe will deliver the message w/ the love & acceptance w/ which the decision was made?

then later....
come to find out ...
thru 6 degrees of separation...
that your actions were...
in fact viewed ...
soooooooooooo not the way it was intended in the first place...
w/ love...
plain & simple...
w/ respect & love....

well...
that is where i sit...

after getting a phone call yesterday....

actually....i was told twice last week.....
"they knew who said it"...
fist off...
ask me if I care who the 'they' are in this whole scenario?..."yeah"...not so much....
but...
i do care about & miss dearly the person who this whole incident revolves around.....
we all worked together for years.....
the usual groups of friends formed...
inside & out of the work environment
bottom line?...
i am who i am either place....
yes...that prolly has been all along...
my downfall to reaching above the ranks i was at...
& thats ok....
i knew....i could sleep at nite....
i dont mince words....
i speak the truth.....
((& yes..i have learned over the yrs to ask..."are you sure you want my opinion"...))...
this behaviour trait of mine .....
has won admiration....caused rifts between people....& some people have left my life because of it....
& thats ok too....

so anyway.....

back to the issue.....
this person & i used to be thick as thieves.....
roadtrips....
pinky sweared secrets...
experiences that went into 'the vault' ....never to come out....

but that is now....
yrs ago....
she has since ....
accepted her 'cousin' who to my last understanding ....
was still married to a man...& father of her 4 children...
as her life partner....& were living toether in my previous friends home.....
so be it.....
i accepted ...
worried?...yes.....
but accepted.....
so many different dynamics going on....
such possibility for an unhappy ending
but they seemed to be getting thru it....
so i was happy for her....

unfortunately....
our bond fell to the wayside....
which is understandable....
new responsibilities....
less & less free time....
which when avail.....
now was focused on her relationship......
no more roadtrips.....
no more shopping sprees
no more just hanging out.....
times change...

so.....imagine my surprise when i read on her blog ....
they have bought another home ....
& moved......
no phone call....
no email...
no invite to the housewarming party that was shown in the pictures on her blog.....
hurt?...yeah i guess....
used to it?....also sadly yes.....
......u see .....we used to live w/in walking distance.....
now....who knows where she moved to....
& evidently....she didnt want me to know either.....
& i was more than willing to accept this .....
i'm not in the community....
a hetero....a bi...a non-lesbian....
i guess thats how i rationalize this all....
she & her 'cousin"partner...w/the four kids are now fully integrated into the community.....
no time for nonfamily friends......

now...the old DrM2B would've continued to email.....
invite for a random saturday roadtrip.....
like we used to .....
but i made a conscious decision to take a step back.....
not intrude....
not force an invitation....
not obligate....
after they moved .....w/ no word.

so....now ......((if you're still w/ me here)) we are present day....
& this previous friend still works where we used to together.....
& has very openly displayed the sonograms of her & her partners (& ?doner?) twins on her blog......
was i shocked....
no ....she had always wanted to be a parent.....
was i surprised they actually went thru w/ adding two more mouths to their family?....
not really....
i guess at this point.....i am so far removed .....i'm viewing it all as someone looking in.....
not a friend involved in the event.....

was i wondering 'wtf' when i heard thru the grapevine.....
that she 'had' to make an announcement at work regarding the babies.....
because 'someone" ((read...me)) had spoken to another previous co-worker....who then told someone who still works there....who then decided to ask her 'if she was preggers"......

yeah.....i was more than miffed...
first off.....why would someone NOT want to share something that is supposed to be a wonderful joyous loving event in their lives?.....
what kind of vibe does THAT send to the babies?....
why place blame on me....
when its public info....(um..out on the internets)....
i, unlike others w/in that org....still have working adult relationships w/ people i worked w/.....
relationships built on friendships....
we catch up on the phone....have lunch....check in on each other ...
the relationships didnt end....just because we didnt work together any longer....
i cannot say the same for all the others who still work there.....

& so now u see....
we're back to my original point...
i am who i was.....& will continue to be so going forward.....
someone who cared ....
someone who dearly misses her friend....
but also someone who thought she was respecting the space which grew over the last couple yrs.....
unfortunately.....also ....someone who is an easy scapegoat.....
& thats o.k.

~blah blah blah.....~

not sure why i even blog anymore...
sure..
it fills that void..
in the middle of nite...

gives me the sense that i am talking to someone..
anyone...

seems the only peeps that comment are those that visit my foin aszz....
on my HNT's...
well ....& my man OS wOoT WoOt....& the pixie, Brico every blue moon...& of course sis B =)
the rest of u lurkers?....
yeah.....
what-ev!

now dont get me wrong here...
the Doc2b enjoys a little carnal attn...
who wouldnt....

but ....i wonder ....
does this shit even get read...
or ...
am i mentally masturbating ?....
getting carpel tunnel typing...
when i could be getting it in other more productive ways...

((on the 'puter u pervs....geesh!))

so.....anywho...
i sent in yet another version of my proposal...
suppose i should go over the PhD docs and update them....
meh...maybe later...

update on the relationship...
he took the pic down at my request...
of course that was after he pointed out that i had one up on my dating profile
where i had borrowed his motorcycle goggles...
ah...
yeah....not the same thing....
goggled DocM?...my camera....my post processing....my pic....
Beautiful pic of Brugge Belgium?...my camera....my postprocessing....my pic....

mmmm...dont understand his request...
but to show good faith....
i took it down....
funny thing tho?..
he also took down his pic of Hilda the new 335i bimmer.....& the harley...?
not sure what happened there....
chicks luv that shite....dude...
'specially if they're out to find a guy w/ cash.....
and a good time.....

havent heard anything from him.....
other than a nice 'lets play nice' email.....
since our discussion at my doorstep.....

is it too much to ask for a guy to really put his cards out ?
go for it...
face that fuckin fear of rejection w/ some vulnerability?
i dont think so...
in fact...
thats the quickest way to get me on your side....
show me that u're human...
have a heart...
and can express it....
thru words...
& actions....

oh....i was informed the other nite during a phone call...
that i was ....
and i quote....
"intense....more intense that the person who delivered the diagnosis"....
yeah...
like i havent heard that one before.... =)

i think i am numb...
not sure really what i want anymore...
i thought i did...
but it seems to be....
(as i have been advised as of late)
too demanding...
too picky...
too strong...
too independent...
too intimidating....
too emotional...
too highly sexed....
too brainy....
too eccentric....
blah blah blah......................................

y is it that all those qualities are a novelty that attract...
do they see me as a challenge?..
to be conquered?
a notch in the belt...
then move forward when it becomes too real?.....

well..doorbell just rang...
neighbors are over......
must go.....
then watch the new series "in treatment" on HBO...
good show!
go watch...
you might learn something.....

nite nite......

~& now for something completely different...~

i thought it was time for a little communication around here....
Buddha-nose (lord knows for you non-Buddha heads)...
it hasn't been all the rainbows & kittens lately.....
& to be honest......
i am trying to will myself into happiness....
BE THE HAPPY....i think it goes...

in preparation for my call w/ my committee chair in the am....
she so accommodatingly sent her feedback from last week...

ever feel sooo defeated u just want to cry?...
yeah....done....

pityparty over.....
wanna know something else?.....

the person who i thought understood my journey......
& what a f'in nitemare this all is....
who i thought would be there when i am done...
& who i looked forward to spending time w/.......
has basically thrown in the towel....
yeah......

i have held off from blogging about it......
& not because i haven't wanted to scream FUCK U from the nearest mountain top.....
but because i personally think its cheating.....
U know....
reading someones blog to find out what is going on in their life .....
instead of picking up the fucking phone to check on them.....
yeah...i guess i will be the man here....

bravo....

u forced my hand.....

feel better?......

it's easier...huh?....

so u can say....."she broke it off w/ me"

what a chickenshit.....

so....we're done......time to get my key back......
get my stuff from your house....
return your stuff.....
& move on........

but....guess what....

since you got the job....

& the beautiful new car....

guess who will be doing the driving across town?....LOL

yeah...not me....

un-fuckin-believable ......
its been 11 days since we have spoken....
9 days since a text that told me to "get some rest" after I expressed my frustration re my Dissertation....how tired I was....how depressed i am re not working.....
& basically put it out there.....that it would be nice if u wanted to come over .....but I really needed to be at home writing .....
last time this happened......
last time the blame was placed on me.....
how it was my responsibility to call...
it was me who was to patch the fragile ego.....
u know....
cause that's what good little girls do...

fuck that...
i should've known.....
i tried to warn u.....
rebound girl was not what i wanted to be....

but here it is.....

your anger towards her sometimes is the pink elephant in the room....
your need to check her emails......to show up at her new mans court dates....your pre-occupation w/ the whole ass-fuckin you got from the divorce judge...

Its all understandable.....
really....
but ....it shouldn't be such a strong influence on our relationship.......

so...

because i know u check my blog....

consider this my communication.....

is this what u wanted?....

i guess it is....since i have nothing else to go by......

i think i told u last time......

never again...

fuck me over once....shame on u...

fuck me over twice?....shame on me.....

i deserve better.....

we almost made it a year.....i enjoyed our time....especially the trip.....thank you....

hopefully your new Bimmer arrived safe & sound?....

let me know ....

when you would like to exchange our stuff....

prolly after the superbowl....

since your friends are coming into town.....

back to my writing....my future.....my babies.....my photography....my PhD......& the few friends who still understand & believe in me.....

~~I was TRYing to be healthy dammit!~~

WTF?...
in my time off...
i am trying to get organized...
the house is getting spic n span....
clothes are washed....put up...examined...tried on....donated....
x-tra feather-beds de-stained (puppers, massage oil, etc...)....
washed....
fabreez'd.....
& stored in the linen closet
.....driveway powerwashed....
garbage & recycle bins powerwashed....
documents (reciepts, warranties, magazines, catalogs..etc) organized, filed, tossed...
& Buddha knows.....i still have the pantry...laundry room....& yoga, meditation rooms to go thru......

so....U might ask what is the point of this post?

well.....
i have also been attempting to get adequate sleep...
((which we all know is a struggle of sorts for me.....))
eat right...
& really take care of myself......

so...riddle me this batman.......
Y.....
would i come home this afternoon after going to get my usual wheatgrass double shot....
w/ a OJ chaser.....
& within an hour after drinking it...
PUKE it all back up?!?!
I know....I know......
GROSS...
but really....
we all know i am on a budget .....
((& already tossed $7+ change into the mailbox last two nites ago.....LOL))

yeah......another 5 bucks down the drain....
er.....
toilet....
BAH!
ok...back to my dissertation.....
almost ready to send back =)

~13~

NO...it is not me....(& borrowed from Jason ...)
butt....LOL...get it?...huh?...Butt?....
I am a Sagittarian....

OK...
on to the 13 things I am going to do FRI.....

1. Finalize my unemployment papers
2. paint the kitchen floor spots that I created last wk
3. go over budget - see how long $ will last =(
4. pay bills
5. write mom & dad
6. drop off Alexandrine parrot @ BUD's (1 less pet ... yeah! =)
7. wash Jeepy...get ready for sale
8. insure her for 1 month so test drives are ok
9. go thru clothes not wearing......donate
10. send last round of rewrites to Dr. J w/ IRB application rough draft
11. install gun safe
12. finish the 280 cd's loading into BigMomma
13. send some cover letters & resume to jobs on DICE
    

its been a strange 2 weeks.......
on one hand....
I've actually got 8+ hours of sleep a nite....
I KNOW....
I can not believe it either....
& it is amazing.....
HOW GOOD THAT FEELS......LOL
I've organized all my foto stuff
which was all over the place.....
moved the office
stained the chairs to match the new table
bought the new table....
caught up on all my DVR'd stuff...
shredded 12 yrs worth of docs....
cleaned out the fridge....cabinets...floors...
& best part?...spent quality time w/ my babies...

NOW.....on the other hand....
I didn't make any money...
didn't talk to any prospective employers...
ignored my neighbors...
made no phone calls to friends to catch-up.....
have become really accustomed to being a hermit...
have started functioning only in the middle of the nite.....again....
maybe I need to get a 3rd shift job again!??

~~Still tweekin in PS, Dragon lady & new hm office digs~~

ok...i got the paycheck I was waiting on....
u see i wanted to ensure that happened
before i commented on last weeks events......

where the f*ck does one begin w/ such a tale....

u know....between u and me?
the dragon lady did me a favor.....

i am not upset re "the contract ending"
otherwise read as 'no job.....'
(well eventually that would be an issue....
but i think U know what i mean?))
i have $ set aside....
as any responsible contractor does


What upsets me the most....
is not only her piss poor management style, at best......
but also the fact that she is allowed to continue
her sociopathic...
passive
aggressive
cold
manipulative
destruction of peoples livelihoods....
without so much as a blink of an eye....

she must be pretty proud of her power play.....
not only did she exert her power in getting rid of me.....
but she also managed to scare the living shit out of those who are still on the team.

U see.....
i was warned....
by numerous others....
i had heard the horror stories....
(also numerous)
of her UBER level of Biotchness
the level to which others are measured against....
of her micro-fuckin -management-style
yeah...that doesnt begin to describe it....
there really should be
a picture of her
in Websters
under...
UBER Micro-biotch-manager....

in the 6 month's
i fulfilled my obsequient duties.....
the dragon lady managed
to rid herself of any
& all reports who
question her,
push back
or fail to jump at the snap of her fingers.
yeah....
shes NOT a big fan of 'working out loud' thru an issue...
questions...or
um....independent thinking...

My fatal move?.....
i took a couple vacation days
((when PIXIE winged her way over to stay with me))
incidentally......
we did have a black cat cross our path one nite.....

mmmm?

anywhooo
as required...
per policy....i put myself on the calendar......
talked to her co-director for the project....
& had numerous conversations with key members of the team

i guess my mistake
was that I pushed back.

the first instance....
happened when i was getting ready to go get Pixie at the airport.
Dragon lady had left me a voicemail
& sent an email
asking where i was on the 9 am call!?!?
DUH!
um...for a director?....yeah.....
not so bright.....
why the fuck does the calendar exist?...
& why have people use it
IF
U
R'nt
gonna
read it!?!?

2nd instance....
when Pixie & i were in sedona
Dragon Lady proceeded to send another email....
telling me that my previous response
was not what she was looking for
& that she needed
this ...that ...& the other.....

what the fuck!?!
did U not read the auto reply
that gets sent out?!?!?


I am out of the office these days .....
& will return correspondence when back in the office
on such and such a day.....

U believe the biotch?!
i have never (in my 16+ yrs with that org) been contacted while on vaca
......so ....knowing full well....i shouldn't ignore it....
i sent a note back
....advising her when i returned to the valley that nite
i would do my best to get the documents she was asking for.....

long story short...
she called me twice...
& communicated via emails twice during my vacation...
When i returned that following Monday.....
all my responsibilities where handed off to other team members ......

The email from one of her golden boys
said....
" don't worry about the communications or training stuff you were doing.....we need you to assist in testing the next couple weeks"

nothing more.....
no questions re where I was on everything..
no explanation.....
nadda......

the ONLY other communication
i received from the Dragon Lady...
was an email the monday prior to being let go...
in the subject line:

NNTO(no need to open): Reminder......core hours start at 9 am ...that means you are to start work no later than that.......thanx.

now....doesn't that just fuckin ooooze warmth...
concern
professionalism?!?!?
yeah...im gonna have to go with NO!..

People....
what U need to understand...
is on that Monday....
the day she sent that
it was my first day in the new building.....
my new desk....((i previously had been sitting in another building))
it was 9:20...
i was ill....( but knew better than to call in sick)
& the clincher?....
she sat over the wall......

no attempt to welcome me to the area...
no swinging by my cube....
no "hey..i noticed you were running a little late this am....."
no actual email content.......
nothing except that loving statement.....

....when i wrote back .......

"yes...fully aware of the policy...I fully intended on being here earlier but am not feeling my best this am. I do apologize for not alerting you."

any guesses to what i got back?!?
ding ding ding.....

NO response......
& for the rest of the 4 days i was on the team......
that's exactly what I got more of...

not another look,
email
voicemail,
or otherwise from her.....
(even when standing right next to her)
to say the least...

shes a real piece of work....

Dragon Ladies track record during my 6 month tenure on the team:
....3 program managers,
....2 contractors not including me,
....2 others who chose to "roll off the project"
((as she states))

(her record goes further back than that...and in all fairness...i was warned before accepting the job.....).

The reason behind those who left?....
& those who i know are praying for other opportunities ?.....
((i am gonna give my professional educated opinion (criminal forensic psych profiling))
her sociopathic,
numb to the feelings of others existence.

i think if she went to see the wizard for a heart?
he would have to tell her its hopeless.....
it wouldn't survive in such a negative environment.......

the fatal day?
my contractor liaison showed up at my desk....
& i said...
well..i guess i know why you are here?
let me pack my stuff....
normally managers give 2 weeks notice...
my last director...gave me a month.
Not the dragon lady.....
nope.....
out this afternoon
was the request
LOL
here's the email she sent
from some huddle room in the building
as she hid from me
& my exit...

Team,
This is to inform you that today was Dr.M's last day with the team. She is no longer on contract with Amex and has already left the building.
Regards,

the subject line said...Dr. M's last day

........i'll give u all a moment to get some Kleenex.....
i know i was moved by the level of emotion in her note

OK......in the immortal words of "D"....
"enough of that silliness...."

so....U ask....when blessed w/ time off....what does DrM2b get done?

LUVIN my time off....
cleaning...spending time with the babies...
purging papers...
clothes i don't wear
books
& knickknacks that take up space
....Movin my desk area out of the kitchen....
& into the TV room.....
it will be better for my neck...LOL
no more crankin around the corner to see the 59 inch HDTV....
i will just turn around =)...
besides.....my lap gets sooo crowded....,
this way ...the babies can all sit on the couch
& i can write...
blog
do my research....
Photoshop
to my little hearts content......
& not have to jostle the pups
one wants up...
another wants down...
...two are ignoring the fact that I am not furniture....
& are playing tug of war in my lap....

........ok...must sign off... moving computer to the other room.....

Remember.......everything happens for a reason.....I live a very blessed life!!

i find it funny really....
how relaxed i feel....
perhaps it is really relief....

all i know....is that I need to make the best of this opportunity, this gift of time i have been given ....

i must remember her behaviors
refer to them thru my life
in the file of how not to behave....
a list of behaviours i do not wish to exhibit

maybe i will send her a thank U card?...LOL
yeah.....that would be funny...
I'm just sayin..............

~~Roller Girlz, Rock-n-Roll, & Remodeling~~

Yeah yeah
I know......
& I AM sorry.....
been rather lax...
in my postings...
my "finding the funny in the nothing"...
& well...yes...my usual brilliance

However!!....for the record?....
U HAVE been in my thoughts ...
In fact ....each and every time I threaten others with ....
"oh...I am sooooo going to blog that!!"....
I try to imagine what my BF's would be thinking at that moment.

I think I play that mental game more so than not with U all ....than my RL friends......
mmmm....I may have to examine that.....

later tho......
cause I know U'd rather read an update....
so....lets get to it bitches.....

Here are a couple pictures from John Voss.....
(he is the guy with the frisbee in the picture....) D & I met him at the ZZTOP concert....
last week......
who is D??..
um.....If I told U...I'd have to kill ....
lets just say.....we've been spending A LOT of time together.....
& I think I am going to check with him b4 saying anything more.....=)

anywho...back to the concert.....
yes...we were second row....PIT seats......
um.....just how old are those ZZ guys? John Voss was this crazy dude in front of us....
& for all appearance's.....
he seemed to be an out of towner who managed to score front row tickets...
didn't have "AZ" clothing.....
& decided to wear knaki shorts with black socks and penny loafers......
well....after talking to him later.....
we find out he is in fact a native AZ-ion
works at a Basha's in Scottsdale...
plays professional Frisbee...
is quite the party animal......& the loafers are his claim to fame....
cause they "stick" best when throwing his world-record attempt frisbee tosses!!
WHO KNEW!?!?

all that aside....the guy was hilarious.
He almost got the shit beat out of him by some big biker dude .....
Y?...U ask?.....
well....John thought biker dudes girl was a hottie.....
errr.....so did D & I....
but we weren't trying to get a picture of her tits!!
He managed to cop a feel from some other groupie he hooked up with mid concert.....& we had front row seats to allllll that......
yeah....so anyway......at the end of the eve...I asked John to send me some of the pics....
& there they are.....
& yes.....we were THAT close....
Thanx again D for a gr8 eve!!!
Next.....U'll notice I put 'Roller Girlz" in the title.....
Roller girl is one of many here in the valley.....
Do U have Roller Derby Tourny's in your area?.....
apparently it is pretty big here in AZ...
D had the pleasure of being invited to one of Roller Girlz matches.....
& they were at the HardRock Cafe event the nite of ZZTOP.....
which is where John Voss scored his UBER righteous front row tickets...... I think the best line of the eve, however, .....came from John Voss's buddy.....
who appeared to D & I to have seen a 'few things" in his day...
been there, done that ......kind of guy..
when I asked what he thought of the Roller Girlz?
the look on his face was one of slight bewonderment.....
& I quote..."yeah...they were there.....whew!.....((rolls eyes)) rather HARDCORE if you ask me"....
lol..... Of course.....D & I are planning to attend at least one match.....
yes..........if possible?...
I will post pics..... =)

~~Remodeling~~
Stubeans ((& yes girls....he still available!!)) was over last weekend......
In addition to the installation of a new beautiful fan above my bed.....the new light fixture ......
((so one does not bang head anymore getting to computers.....)),
the new little doggie door was installed.....
I have pics....but I also have the new Photoshop....
& a huge learning curve came with it!!
I should have more pics posted this weekend...... =)
mmmm'K?

ok....must get to work.....Its FRIDAY!!!.....TOODLES POODLES......

~~WheW~~

Ever feel as if...
there just are NOT enough hrs in the day?....
I have...
more oft than not...
lately......
tonite I plan on 'catching up'.....
attacking that ever-growing
todo list.......
right now I am ripping music into the new tower .....
to play in the house
& sync with the ipod......
Chix is screamin at the top of her birdy lungs....
I think she knows
her wings & nails are going to be clipped.....
I have laundry
.....to put away.....
..........give away
....................throw away.
the birdroom wanescoating ((sp??))
is still on the list.....
& the office....
well....
thats another day....

In addition.....
.......last weekend
as Stu & I were trying out the new lil electric lawnmower...
I opened one of the sheds on the side of the house.....
.....U 'member....
...........I know U do....
the sheds that poolboy had to squeeze past ...
to avoid entering DrM's casa of sin.....
LOLOLOL

People~~....U would NOT believe the shit that I found...

so.....let THIS serve as public notice...
to the boy who used to live here...
I will be ...
((with absolutely...positively ....NO hesitation)).....
tossin ALL that shit U piled in there
for a rainy day?.....
....stole & squirreled...
to come back an get another day?

IT IS ALL going to the curb
next bulk trash pickup....
mmmmmm'k??
right then....
as u were
My blog Bitches.....
got shit to DO!~
& I am burnin' daylight!!~~~~

~~~ Fashion Police NEEDED!~~~

Oo..K...
It is a well-known fact...
that if a straight man...
spots the error of another man's
fashion sense...
it has got to be pretty horrendous!!
right?.....
YES.....
so at the risk of revealing the offended ....
& the offender.....
I will leave with this....
do not EVAH...
wear clothing which could be
mistaken as holiday theme-wear......

1. outside the realm of said holiday......
&
2. which causes U to be mistaken as the object of celebration during said holiday.......


as U were bitches......toodles.....

oh.....& yes...I do have pictures...... muah---hahahahahaha..
(((wrings hands)))

~~OMG!~~

OK....new guy...
who sits behind me in the cube across the aisle??.....
yeah.....
I
can
hear
you
SMACKIN
on your morning bagel!!!
DUDE!
chew with your mouth closed!!!
& BLOW your nose...
if that much snot requires
U to snort like a farmer.....
GROSS!!!!
As U were bitches.......

~~Y Sean Connery is NO longer on my 'LIST'~~

ok..I think I have had this conversation
W/ a few people over the years....
such a shame....
Such a manly man..
& my friends know how I LUV LUV LUV a Scotsman
but smackin' a bitch is NEVAH the answer....
Even if U R Bond.....

~~Can We Say PsychO?!!~~

Recent Text Mssgs.....BAH!~

Yesterday....I blogged about my unhappy Uterus.....
& I am sure U understand,
because Aunt Flo, being the biotch,
that she is....
((deciding to take up residence & all for a few days.....))

I was forced to wage a comfy war...

I got home from work....
changed into PJ's...
grabbed the heating pad...
took two Alleves...
made myself a nice hot cup of tea...
& settled into a nice evening of movies, cuddle pups, nice big comforter & pillows.

I promptly fell asleep....
all comfy & warm...... =)

((U knew it wasn't going to last ....right?))

yeah...see....the evening before,
when I found out Auntie's itinerary
I had texted the boy who used to live here.....
knowing that his job route brings him close to the house on some days....
I asked if he had any stronger pain relievers to rid the effects of Aunt Flo?
He said he did...
I told him he could drop them off......

Well......I never got the pain relievers.....
but....
I did get these lovely communications thru the nite......

3:14 PM --> (Boy) I told U, 1100 count sheets (which I bought him)are clean, ass is shaved, I'll soon be showered & there are 2 of those pills sitting on my headboards waiting for U

(ME)....:::wtf?:::
no text back

5:14 PM --> (Boy) so....ya coming

(ME) dude...I am on the couch all snuggled with the pups...& the heating pad...Y would I drive all that way (40 mins..rush hour traffic) for two pills?

5:20 PM --> (Boy) because I can help U in ways they can't.

(ME) ....::::wtf makes him think first of all ....in all my pain....I am in the mood?...but most of all...it has been 2.5 yrs since?....::::
My text answer.... NO Thank U

5:29 PM --> (Boy) The XXXXX (referring to himself in third person)...does make house calls but there will be a cost..The XXXXX has needs.

(ME) ::::Is he delusional??::::
no text back

6:20 PM -->(Boy) Damn...at least my sheets are sping fresh and my arse is silky smooth..lol..call me later, i'll try to save them for U

(ME) text back : k

6:56 PM --> (Boy) Ok...the appropriate response top my last text would be thanx for saving those for me, if I feel better later or tmr, I'll drop by....again...hope U are feeling better.

(ME) :::dont even go there....he wouldnt know appropriate if it bit him in that silky smooth arse:::
NO TEXT BACK

7:17 PM --> (Boy) I seem to be doing all the work and taking all the risk in this relationship and asking & benefitting nothing in return...how long do you think it will last????

(ME) :::relationship??!!...what fuckin risks ??....do I care how long?:::
NO TEXT BACK

7:36 PM --> (Boy) Im not surprised...your loss..Have a nice day

(ME) ::::He must be drinking ....::::
NO TEXT BACK

10:23 PM --> (Boy) Unless you can give me a good reason for not responding to my thoughts and feelings tonite we're done. Take care and tell the girls i love them

(ME) ::::U have got to be fuckin kidding me....now he's getting conditional on my ass?!?....which girls?..my tits or the pups?? WOW::::
NO TEXT BACK

1:43 AM -->(Boy) Thank You...as much as you are my everything..I cant move forward and heal with you in still in my life.

(ME) :::: OK...most def....drunk....Y can't he just lose my number::::
NO TEXT BACK

& the piece de resistance.......

2:01 AM --> (Boy) Its amazing what you learn when people get really shitfaced....who in the fuck are you

I am thinking that he & my other previous roomie.....who now live together & have formed the x's of DrM hate club.....got drunk & swapped stories.....
would've killed to be a fly on that wall!!! LOL

NIIIIIIIIIIICe huh?.......YEAH...NO! TEXT! BACK!!!