~@ costco......

STU: i'll go thru first ....i have to renew our memberships...
ME: ok...i'll help load your purchases...
STU: thanx..
ME: ok...i think thats it.....'cept for your meat....& EW!~ u know i cant stand to touch that...
STU: u've never felt that way before....((in a whining voice & loud enough for all the other people standing around to hear))

ME: unable to control the laughter.......

yeah....nothing like going shopping with your platonic friend when everyone thinks we're a couple...

~HA!~....have to have money to spend it ...so i guess i am safe?~

Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 - Dec 21)

Spending money when the Full Moon is in your 2nd House of Resources may not be the smartest thing to do because you are likely to be more emotionally attached to something that you want. Purchases now will probably be based more upon a whim than on need. You can avoid buyer's remorse by waiting a day or two before completing the deal.

More for Sagittarius: Weekly Love | Monthly Forecast | About Sagittarius

~crazies are coming....so i baked nipple cookies?~

~crazies are coming....so i baked nipple cookies?~, originally uploaded by ~mintas.fotos~.

so...
when i say 'the crazies'..
i am not referring to any people in particular....
but rather...
aunt flo...

the bitch is obviously on her way into town...
cause...
i made what appears to be 'nipple cookies'???....

i have also...
vacuumed...
dusted...
swept...
filed...
balanced....
purged....
emptied...
washed...
laundered...
scrubbed...
scraped...
fluffed....
changed...
organized....
mailed....
paid....
displayed....
cuddled.
snuggled...
held...
kissed...
& cried at stupid commercials....

yeah....
uber-estrogen here....
time for a beer...

~good thing i work in IT~

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate



Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Mistress 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.).

Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0, this will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

~just a little monday humor to get u thru =) ~

A car gets a flat on the interstate one day. The blond driver eases it over
onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of the car and opens the
trunk. She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them, and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.

The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies
and private parts to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up.

It is not very long before a police car arrives. The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blond of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What's going on here?"

"My car broke down, officer," says the woman calmly.

"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the
road?" he asks.

"Helllooooooo!” says the blond. "Those are my emergency flashers!"

~so ...this dog walks into a bar......~

~my new fave work relief~

see more funny graphs

~OH my LAWD....~

i haven't laughed so fuckin hard in a loooooong time....
i thought the first post was hilarious....
but then...
the pixie ...
in true star-form....
followed w/ THIS POST....

thanx for the thought babe!......
& the laugh....
i heart u!

~womens remote....~

A 'FRIEND' was so kind as to send me his version of the 'mens remote'...
i made a few edits & set it back....
what cha think?...

~click on it to link to a larger version~

~LOL...if only...... =) ~

~i want a man who lives life like this guy~

~2nd & 3rd runner up isnt all that bad....~

it was prolly this ^ pic that cost her the crown.......

yeah.....
its hard to take yourself seriously....
when your BBF's from HI sends these.....
god....I miss her them..... =)

~ the TuTu strikes again ~

my bad.....
been busy .....
playin w/ the camera...
the TuTu...
& my BFF David from Maui
go HERE for more TuTu pics =)

~~ GOLFING IN AZ~~

Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scottsdale , Arizona :


1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
WELL DONE. NOW FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, & TEE OFF

~~Now....where did I put that?...~~

pretty smart cricket...
sat on ChinChin's head....
all nite.....
what a doofus.....
LOL

~~My GetWell SpongeBoB Cookie~~

I managed to collect some germs...

while in the moshpit w/ D

during the Korn Concert last week....

as a result.....

I have one hell of a chest cold...

My friend Stu brought over a

'get-well' SP cookie .....

On the way back to bed.....I recorded his demise....... =)~

~~sooo cheezy...~~~

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.


The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.


Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."

The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."

"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."

She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?"

"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.

"My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence."

She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?"

The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua .

He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says







(ok this is good)


















"Liver alone. Cheese mine."