~@ costco......

STU: i'll go thru first ....i have to renew our memberships...
ME: ok...i'll help load your purchases...
STU: thanx..
ME: ok...i think thats it.....'cept for your meat....& EW!~ u know i cant stand to touch that...
STU: u've never felt that way before....((in a whining voice & loud enough for all the other people standing around to hear))

ME: unable to control the laughter.......

yeah....nothing like going shopping with your platonic friend when everyone thinks we're a couple...

~mom?.... what cha doin down there ?

~mom?.... what cha doin down there ?
Originally uploaded by ~mintas.fotos~

this is the zoester...
peering down on her strange mom...
i am on the floor at the vets ...
.
took the little one in for her checkup
& to get her paperwork filled out.

she is going to start the pet therapy program
@ the hospital...

cross your fingers she gets thru the certification ..
please
& thank u =)

i think she'll be a gr8 little lover & caregiver...
how can patients & staff not want to luv on her?

so....i just ( 5 mins ago) recovered from a minor
meltdown..

after doing an upgrade to my zone alarm ( antivirus/spyware)
this am before trying to get some sleep....
& the puter whigged...

the mouse wasnt being recognized....
so of course i blamed it on the upgrade...
tried to do a back out/ restore to the last checkpoint....( all the while using the keyboard for the commands....tried that lately?...yeah...frustrating to say the least))

& shut up heather...i know my geek is showing ...

anywho.....after about 2 hours of rebooting/ trying this...trying that..
new batteries all around...
i went & pulled out the previous keyboard and mouse ...
hooked it up..

& oui la =)

my apologies to the dogs for my sailor talk this nice am....

anywho....going to get something to drink....& go back to bed for a nap....

later bitches....

~crazies are coming....so i baked nipple cookies?~

~crazies are coming....so i baked nipple cookies?~, originally uploaded by ~mintas.fotos~.

so...
when i say 'the crazies'..
i am not referring to any people in particular....
but rather...
aunt flo...

the bitch is obviously on her way into town...
cause...
i made what appears to be 'nipple cookies'???....

i have also...
vacuumed...
dusted...
swept...
filed...
balanced....
purged....
emptied...
washed...
laundered...
scrubbed...
scraped...
fluffed....
changed...
organized....
mailed....
paid....
displayed....
cuddled.
snuggled...
held...
kissed...
& cried at stupid commercials....

yeah....
uber-estrogen here....
time for a beer...

~~I was TRYing to be healthy dammit!~~

WTF?...
in my time off...
i am trying to get organized...
the house is getting spic n span....
clothes are washed....put up...examined...tried on....donated....
x-tra feather-beds de-stained (puppers, massage oil, etc...)....
washed....
fabreez'd.....
& stored in the linen closet
.....driveway powerwashed....
garbage & recycle bins powerwashed....
documents (reciepts, warranties, magazines, catalogs..etc) organized, filed, tossed...
& Buddha knows.....i still have the pantry...laundry room....& yoga, meditation rooms to go thru......

so....U might ask what is the point of this post?

well.....
i have also been attempting to get adequate sleep...
((which we all know is a struggle of sorts for me.....))
eat right...
& really take care of myself......

so...riddle me this batman.......
Y.....
would i come home this afternoon after going to get my usual wheatgrass double shot....
w/ a OJ chaser.....
& within an hour after drinking it...
PUKE it all back up?!?!
I know....I know......
GROSS...
but really....
we all know i am on a budget .....
((& already tossed $7+ change into the mailbox last two nites ago.....LOL))

yeah......another 5 bucks down the drain....
er.....
toilet....
BAH!
ok...back to my dissertation.....
almost ready to send back =)

~~Suupah- Starrrr~~

I think this story.....
can best be expressed in a monologue by alanis morisette

Dear Postal person who takes letters out of mailbox on curb by PO?...
yeah...
that book of stamps?...its mine.....
I accidentally dropped it
into the box as I was mailing my unemployment paperwork...
...kinda ironic .....huh?.....
damn....
7 dollars & change....
gone......

~~QuestioN~~

so.....have U ever had to strain YOUR pee?.....
yeah...
kinda...ok...REALLY weird...
not weird that I have to do this...
but more that there is A LOT of little stuff in pee
little round things
little oblong things
lite in color....
dark in color....
see-thru floaty things...
ones that sink...
ones that float....
ones that sorta float..sorta sink...
ones that sink if U wait long enough...

& they cannot ALL be kidney debris...or stones?!?!
could they be toilet paper dust?...

or would that technically be called "clitty-litter"?
:::I'm just sayin':::

~~500 Doll hairs to fix the GFI??~~

um....
yeaaaaah
how was I suppose to know I had another GFI ??......
I was holding poolboy's check hostage.....
til he 'fixed' the new light he installed about 3 monthes ago....
sounds fair ....
right??.......
well...I thought so......
until
he shows up....takes a peek at the HIDDEN...
UBER secret
spy-shit
GFI.......popped the little button.......
& proceeds to laugh at me
U see....I had told him
all confident like...
"oh....& its not the GFI...cause I checked that"......
PB Responds?...."um...?...yes it was.....pool lite is workin just fine"

::::puzzled look on his face::::
implying...what is she smokin'?

::::crickets chirping::::

me:....nah ah.....I tried that.....what did U push......?

PB: ((walking over to where all the electrical shit is around the pump...& flips up this little magical cover thingy.....))

"this...right here.....your GFI"



mmmmph!
fuck!
shit!......
"ok...well then......I guess u'll want your check?".......

& stop laughin at me.......

D & I went to Tucson June 2 2007 to watch a performance by the Gyuto Monks Tibetan Tantric Choir.

What makes their chanting different is that each of these Gyuto monks have trained for years to learn how to sing as much as an entire chord at once.

"What's really special is that these monks can sing multiple tones simultaneously," said Jonathan Holden, a UApresents publicist. "It makes a half-dozen people sound like a 30- or 40-person choir. It's a very altering experience."

The singing is just a part of their intense religious training, which also includes yoga techniques, meditation and the study of Buddhist scripture.

"This form of chanting is a part of a sacred ritual; it's a practice. It's their yoga, as it were," Holden said.

When China took over Tibet in 1959, the Gyuto monks fled with the Dalai Lama from Lhasa, Tibet, where they had been living for centuries. The Gyuto monks are now living in exile, as are many other Buddhist sects, Holden said. The Gyuto monks are currently based out of a monastery near Dharamsala, India.

Most monks enter the monastery during childhood, eventually attainting the equivalent of a doctorate, Holden said.

When Grateful Dead artist Mickey Hart learned of the Gyuto monks in the 1980s, he worked to bring them from their monastery to the United States for a concert tour. They came through Tucson during that original tour, Holden said, and performed at Centennial Hall.

*** to say the least......the lady next to me was missing her "Buddha -nature" when she verbally spanked me during the intermission for taking this picture......((mind u....D & I were sitting front row center section....so....a few people heard this spanking))

hey...we arrived after everyone .....just before the performance started....i didnt know any better......

::: winkwink::::

~~PuPs 1st Overnite @ D's~~

So........D obviously LUV's the girls......
the pups......
er....canines!!
He forgave the surprise Tootsie...
& the exploding nervous soft poo from Bella Belly...
overlooked the edge of a pillow chewing....
cleaned up the dead bird carcass they dragged out from under where-ever
laughed @ the constant romping thru the house
didnt ask them to stop sounding like a little herd of elephantes'
ignored the never-ending "what was that" barking & charging about....
& the two ever-so-little peepee puddles......
((on the berber =(... carpeting))........
they LUV him as well......how do I know?....
KorKor let him pet her!!
alert the media!

It's just one question, so take your time and think about it.
PRE-SCHOOL TEST


Pre-school children were asked the following question:

"In which direction is the bus pictured below traveling?"
Look carefully at the picture.

Doyou know the answer?

(The only possible answers are "left" or "right.")

Think about it


Still don't know?







Okay, I'll tell you.



The pre-schoolers all answered "left."

When asked, "Why do you think the bus is traveling in the left direction?"

They answered:

"Because you can't see the door."


How do you feel now ???
I know, me too.

~~UpDaTeS~~

Hey Bitches.....

OK...so I stole that from the ever so adorable
William Sledd
on Utube....
I'm sure U peeps have seen him
I just LUV LUV LUV him.....

....I digress

~~UpDaTeS~~
Nice poolboy Andy
((mmmmm...??not sure if he likes that I refer to him as 'boy'.....))
FINALLY.. drove his cute little tuckas over here
w/ my filters....

YeS...I called a few times
this past week.....
even tried to text him...
"um...Andy?...Where the Fuck R my FilterS!!....
no text back....
a. he doesn't get texts...
b. didnt appreciate the tone...lol
c. I did not ID myself.....
so ...how would he know it was me?...
I have a BAD habit of doing that w/ new textees...
I guess I just assume....
who wouldn't know "the M"..

so....in the course of the morn
I observed a few things...

either it is company policy to not go into clients homes.....
or...the boy is scerrred of me....

.....he walked around .....
squeezed those huge filters thru the side of the house area
((I did not watch but must have been comical....))

The pool is creating CHLORINE once again...
I can hear U all cheering !...thanx....
however......
U know with every +...there is usually a complimentary -....
yup...the doo-hicky thing-a-ma-bob...
U know...
the gears that rotate the water stream to various tubing which operates the infloor filtering sweepers?..
still with me ?!!?
is shot......

so.....as I winced from the impending additional financial doom....
I stated..."of course it is!!"....
"& just how much will that be costing me"?
here we go again folks w/ the bartering...
about $100.00...
huge sigh of relief.......
I didn't have to pimp myself out again......

ok......so as I am in the house working on my PhD Dissertation rewrites, watching cartoons.....
I suddenly realize....
I need to find out about the huge O ring that sits inside the top & bottom of the big filter housing.....
IT NEEDS TO BE LUBED......

:::crickets chirping::::

HELL NO....
after last weeks conversation where I was mentally wondering
what my mad oral skillz would do to getting the bill reduced......
& was ballzy enough to imply it in a conversation?....

UM....yeah.....NOT going there again today......
I just thought...."well...
after he's gone ....I'll go out there
take it apart.....
& check it & lube it myself if need be....."

HA!
FAT chance.....U know it wasn't gonna go down like that ......

as we're standing on the front walk....
trying to set-up a time for him to enlighten me on the new system
((remember....I think that schtuff is on the 'boy' list of house chores.....so this will be ALL new to me........))

I noticed a tube of the silicone lube U use on the O-rings sticking out of his pocket....
of course ....
me & my big mouth........
"OH!....so U did LUBE it back there....."

:::YIKES:::
.....just come out & talk about salad tossin Y Ur at it M!!!

NOW....U know ....that is not what I meant.....
I meant the backyard!!
OF MY HOUSE....
Real estate...
dammit....
NOT MY ASS!.....
((as cute as it is.....ahem...))

but yeah....cute little smirk on PB's face told me where his mind went....
so ...I follow up w/...."U know...there is just ...NO delicate way to have this discussion.....
I was referring to the O-ring"...
he agreed.....got all embarassed......& commented..."yeah....I had to replace the little one.....sometimes they just don't hold up......"

:::pause to decide if I want to go there.....::::

DO U know how easy it would've been??
for me to launch into raunch?!?.....
I didn't....I behaved.....

HEY!......it's possible.......
U think U know me!?......
HA!.....(((there IS a first time for everything...U know!)))

OK...as U were.....Bye Bitches....

~~Ooops...wrong number ~~

ok....so Stubeans......((nice Tuckas...single friend of mine...remember??....))
Got a text today....
it read......142nzn Dodge Red Neon
& because I am currently (for the last couple months......)
shopping for a new car......
he thought I sent it asking for an opinion....
yeah..like I'd ever buy a red car!
.....err....not that there is anything wrong with that.....
any who......
he quickly texts back...
Stay away from American Vehicles....
& time to grow up....
neon should be reserved for undergarments only....
the response?....
Sorry.....wrong number........LOL
priceless........

~~Progression~~

Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances, & Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July.

It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable, they decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink.

Patty had recently added special legs to his barstools, which were the talk of the fashionable eastside neighborhood.

All 5 Nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley and Father McGinty entered the bar through the front door..........

~~Priceless~~

Make-up : $60





Tattoo : $ 250.00






Breast Augmentation : 5000.00




Forgetting to "tuck nuts" : PRICELESS!!!!

~~~Quote of the Day~~~

During a phone conversation ......
w/ Dougie-fresh
The topic turned to when the last time.....
I answered a couple weeks ago when in reality
it was 1 month ago ((after looking at the calendar )).
So....did U see him again?
NOPE
um......Y?
just because
ah.....well did U kill him?
HA!........

~~~ WoW...LoVe ThE MuSiC iN hErE ~~~

First, let me preface this tidbit from my day by telling U: I am VERY tired....We had a HUGE thunderstorm this am at 5....& KoRKoR went bullistic with fright....I've been sick with a cold...( & filled with cold medicine).

SO....ever been sooo tired you really don't know where a sound is coming from?? Yeah.....that was me today.....strolling into the ladies room for a tinkle... suddenly....Simply Red is singing softly......"Holding Back the Tears". At a GOOD volume too.....I wonder to myself ....when did they install muzak?


I turn to the other watercloset occupant & comment "thats nice...huh?....didn't know they started playing muzak in here".....& go about my bidness.


Lay out ASSGasket....remove pants.....sit......& realize the muzak is MUCH louder in the stall......& even LOUDER in the sitting position!!!!


HA!.....don't cha know!.......its my phone!......Gotta wonder how loony-tunes the other visitors thought I was!!! Laughing hysterically at myself in the other stall !!!

..........I'm SUCH an idiot!