~~HUMP DAY HUMOR~

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my
own funeral.........I'm a gynecologist."

The proctologist fainted............ ;-)

**Courtesy of a previous third-shifter who's humor I miss terribly.....
"what does this mean to me Robert?".....lol
Raymundo Leach is the dude...
that kept us all sane thru the long 12 hour shifts.......
albeit the management did not seem to have the same level of appreciation for his humor........
I wouldn't have made it without him.
When the IBM machine came in & we were all assimilated into the existence of being IBMer's.......
Ray & I were lucky to get out.......
I started my PhD & he took some quality time for his family......
Anywho.....
he sends me a joke now & then.....
thought I would share..... =)

~~~TMI TUESDAY~~~

1. When you orgasm, do you hold your breath?
I think I might on the first one......lol ((of course I will uber consumed w/ this thought next time around))after that...no.....too busy trying to catch my breath

2. Have you ever had sex or played around with a celebrity? No

3. Do you think prostitution should be legal? Why or why not?
yes.....why not?.....there are so many positive societal reasons to support legalization. Less violence, less taboo - therefore less draw, better health regulations, less time our legal system spends defending, convicting...etc...& more time they can devote to the real criminals.....need I continue?

4. How do you masturbate? Do you romance yourself? Get straight to the point? Read erotic material?
* wow....how?...not sure I have to explain that one.....I guess U are asking technique?....
* well... in the shower....hands.....otherwise?...toys....or partners hands..other body parts....
* Romance?....lol no
* Not sure what U mean by straight to the point.....do I spend all day?....no.......would I like to spend all day?....sure...havent we all at some point in our lives?...w/ or w/out a partner.....lol
* Do I use toys?...yes Do I read erotica?...most def.....does that do it for me more than visual porn? most def......Albeit fun.....in order for visual porn to work for me.....there has to be a kink to it......B& D.....S&M....guy on guy.....threesomes.....close-up hard core f*ckin......

5. Which gives you the most pleasure - intercourse, masturbating for/with your partner, being masturbated by your partner.
WHAT the?......U are asking me to choose?......ok...I guess if I have to?......I really get off on watchin a guy do his thing......usually to the point that If I have any control over it?...I won't let him finish.........I want me some! Next ....I guess it would have to be mutual orgasms......both lost in this moment......animalistic....monkey sex.

Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever had a crush on a relative? No I have not.

Wanna play??......click on either icon.......

~~Another 100 - MEME~~

1. How old will you be in five years? 48
2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today? Warner
3. How tall are you? 5’9”
4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? Starting my Live Study
5. What's the last movie you saw? Blades ...
6. Who was the last person you called? D’s a/m – @ his hm….
7. Who was the last person to call you? Jen
8. What was the last text message you received?
“well, then U should call me tonite…I will be hm after wk…& food shopping around 9"
9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail? D
10. Do you prefer to call or text? Text....during the day....call at nite
11. What were you doing at 12am last night? Working….work project docs
12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced? Married – 53 yr happily
13. When is the last time you saw your mom? Yrs
14. What color are your eyes? Brown
15. What time did you wake up today? 3:30 at the behest of ZOE standing on my boobs & yodeling at me!
16. What are you wearing right now? Grey Keens…jeans…t-shirt…
17. What is your favorite Christmas song? The mummers dance – Loreena McKennitt
18. Where is your favorite place to be? my bed
19. Where is your least favorite place to be? listening to bible thumpers
20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? Tibet
21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? Traveling……
22. Do you tan or burn? Tan……Dark….
23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? Boogieman
24. What was the last thing that REALLY made you laugh? Jennifer telling me a story ‘bout her man running nekkid around his pool at 2 in the am chasing ducks out of it.
25. How many TVs do you have in your house? 3
26. How big is your bed? Cali-King
27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? Both
28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on? PJ bottoms…wife beater usually….due to nosey little cold puppy noses…..
29. What color are your sheets? White in Summer…Gold in Winter
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 8 on the bed…..I actually sleep with two mushy ones – one under my head….one in my arms ((if alone)) & one body pillow to snuggle my leg around…..((once again if alone))
31. What is your favorite season? Fall
32. What do you like about fall? The colors
33. What do you like about winter? The crisp air & crunching snow under foot when its really quiet out.
34. What do you like about the summer? The heat….& smells of tanning oils.
35. What do you like about spring? Nature coming back to life
36. How many states/provinces have you lived in? 3
37. What cities/towns have you lived in? Menomonee Falls….LaCrosse…Edinburgh….Phoenix…Glendale
38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet? Bare feet in Summer….big smooshy soft socks in Winter
39. Are you a social person? Depends…but most of the time …yes
40. What was the last thing you ate? Gummy Bear
41. What is your favorite restaurant? Taste of India
42. What is your favorite ice cream? none….Lactose intolerant
43. What is your favorite dessert? Crème’ Brulee
44. What is your favorite kind of soup? Old Fashioned Tomato
45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich? Boysenberry
46. Do you like Chinese food? yes
47. Do you like coffee? Yes!
48. How many glasses of water a day? 1-2
49. What do you drink in the morning? Mountain Dew ….Orange or Red
50. Beer, shots, or mixed drinks? Beer when relaxing poolside….shots when out partying….and mixed drinks....with friends in the eve.
51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes…..looking at bed from foot…..I am on the right.
52. Do you know how to play poker? How? Yes. Well? No.
53. Do you like to cuddle? Yes …….
54. Have you ever been to Canada? Yes
55. Do you have an addictive personality? No.
56. Do you eat out or at home more often? Depends
57. Gourmet ready to eat…or cook from scratch? Both…depends on the meal & the company.
58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? no
59. Do you want kids? Kinda too late I think……..thought I did….just didn’t find someone adult or responsible enough for me to share that experience with.
60. Do you speak any other languages? Francais, Portuguese, Spanglish, Spanish
61. Have you ever gotten stitches? Yes ….Middle of my head (fell on glass table  childs version of getting a buzz from spinning….lol )….Middle finger.(caught in reclining lawn chair)….both eyes (ran into a kitchen counter….& the shoe display at Kinney shoes when I was little both times)….ankle…(bone spur)….lips (implanted cadaver tissue…hey! Better than bovine or pig fat)….
62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Yes….broke my ankle ….(separate from above issue) during team handball.
63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool? Pool
64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats? Aisle……36 inseam…..need I say more.
65. Do you know how to drive stick? Yes
66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on? The person I love.
67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7? Buddha necklace… ring…. earrings….. peircings.
68. What is your favorite TV show? The Closer… Bones… CSI... Medium….. (anyone see a pattern?)
69. Can you roll your tongue? Yes
70. Do you eat breakfast every day? Yes…usually at 4:30 am when the girls get me up to go potty…..then I take a little nap or watch tv….til it is time to get ready for work.
71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No …..4 little live luv pups is enough
72. What is the main ring tone on your phone? Some funky new age India based thing……
73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little? Yes….packed away…..not sure why….but yes….
74. What red object is closest to you right now? the red blessing cord on my wrist….& the red cord of my HHDL necklace blessed by him & purchased at his teaching I attended in Tucson.
75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth? No…..I let it get hot to wash my face
76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? I have curtains ….no doors…..& they are drawn closed
77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? Bees
78. Father’s age? 75 this yr October 4th
79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? The garbage
80. What is your favorite food? Chocolate
81. Can you change the oil on a car? Yes
82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? Yes
83. Have you ever run out of gas? No
84. What is your usual bedtime? 3-4 am
85. What was the last book you read? I am Charlotte Brown
86. Do you read the newspaper? online
87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Yes….too many…..security .PI…Forensic…Journals for PhD…Birdtalk…Cosmo…
88. Cable…Satallite…Regular TV?...High Def DSL w/ DVR
89. Do you watch soap operas? No
90. Do you dance in the car? No…but I sing magnificently
91. What radio station did you last listen to? my IPOD
92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you? no picture frame near me
93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper? my TODO list for this weekend …taking a 4 day weekend !! whoo-hoo!
94. What is your favorite candle scent? Leather….rain….
95. What is your favorite board game? Trivial Pursuit
96. Favorite color? Purple
97. How many siblings? What Gender? Adopted- 2 brothers..both older…….. biological - 1 older brother that I know of.
98. Who was your favorite teacher in high school? Science teachers
99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent? 2 weeks
100. What do you look forward to? Finishing my PhD & living my life fully in the moment!!

~~~TMI TUESDAY~~~

1. What was your first job? Polo Pony Trainer
2. When did you go to your first funeral? 6th grade I think......
3. What is the sexiest word in the English dictionary? UBER
4. Are you left handed or right handed? Which direction does the top of your head lean when you kiss on the lips? Right Handed.....to my left initially......
5. Males: Which way do you dress?
Females: Which breast is larger? Neither.......

Bonus (as in optional):Define sexy? anything.....((smell, sight, sound, feel, emotion)) that stirs THOSE feelings within........

~~PuzzlemenT~~

If PIXIE's have these......

Y....is she taking this to get here??......

Is it so...she can save all her energy in order to raise hell in AZ??

Yup.....that must be the answer.........

~~I Say & U ThinK~~

Coastguard ::
Buddies ::
Nap ::
Groan ::
Sitcom ::
Reader ::
Heroes ::
Amazing ::
Woman ::
Don’t! ::
~~Answers R in the CommentS~~
~Get on it~

~~HaHa...Jakes Cat~~

myspace graphics

~~Busy BusY BuSy~~

Sorry...
been busy....
shopping...
planning for visiting PIXIES...
working...
cleaning...
& partaking in midnite swims =) ...

Still to come.......
fotos....
New furniture....
updates....
ponderings....
& of course ...
witty repartee...
but then again......
that's redundant.....
yes?....
.
so .....
in an effort ...
to not to cause withdrawal....

I present......
A LIST!....stolen.....
shamelessly....
from NO One Special...

1) Are your parents married or divorced? Married …Happily for 53 yrs =)

2) Have you ever been a Vegetarian? Yes….28 yrs....still am …lacto ova…((eggs dairy..however lactose intolerant…so…no moo juice..or crème))

3) Believe in Heaven? The concept of Heaven…euphoric warm and fuzzy peaceful feelings…..yes…..place in the clouds as depicted in media…NO

4) Afraid of death? Afraid of suffering prior to…..& bummed out that it happens…..but afraid?...no

5) What jewelry do you wear a lot? A Turquoise ring that my father had made for me for graduation……the stone was one of many my god-father found on the shores of lake superior….he was an avid rock collector….& tumbled them for later use in many things. My ring being one. It wasn’t until a couple yrs ago however that I noticed the jeweler had forged the bezel around the stone in the shape of a G for godfather. This ring has special meaning because yrs ago I experienced a break-in here in AZ….all my other jewelry made for me from my god fathers stones disappeared. I also wear my Buddha….&/or a necklace with a cross given to me by my adopted parents upon my baptism, a shell charm from the Caribbean, & a black coral charm from my father bought in Tahiti.

6) Are you eating? Y - Jammers…..dark choc covered coffee beans.

7) What's something random that you eat a lot? Necco wafers / valentine hearts.

8)Would you ever have plastic surgery? Yes…& have.

9) What do you wear to bed? due to nosey little cold puppy noses…..pj pants and wife beater.

10) What's something illegal you've done? Where do I start?......

11) Can you roll your tongue? yes

12) Do you swear? Like a fuckin sailor

13) What kind of watch(es) do you have? MoTo……

14) Your hair colour? don’t remember original ..but now…5 -6 colour combo

15) Future child's name? ??

16) Do you snore? NO!.....& don’t believe what anyone else tells U

17) If you could go anywhere in the world on a vacation, where ? Tibet

18) If you won the lottery, what would you do first? Change my phone number

19) Gold or silver? Both depending on my outfit

20) Hamburger or hot dog? NEITHER

21) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Pizza

22) Beach, city, or country? Country

23) What was the last thing you held? Zoe =)

24) Where do you usually eat? Family room…..bedroom….out w/ friends

~~Buy Pixie Food.....check!~~

~~Everyday..I am Given a Message~~

....& today ....once again I was amazed.....
I just LUV LUV LUV when this shite happens......
the universe delivered...
I was there to get my pedi.....
'cause its ever -so -impt to keep Ur toes purty....
& it feeeels so good when they massage you too =)

anywho.....

on w/ the story ....right?!?.....

As I sat waiting for my pigs turn to have their pig par-tay.......
I was going thru my ever-existing rewrites.....
a women & her daughter were sitting next to me......

Note to self.....Lynn's house of pedi's / mani's is uber popular on Wednesday's......

They were there b4 me.....
& I was prepared to wait my turn......
as long as the nice hot bubbly water kept soakin my tootsies.....
cue women next to me ...
telling the girl to let me cut-in....
I thanked her.....
& the conversation ensued......

I won't bore U w/ details....
long story short???.......
we are both attending the same university ....
she is in the middle of her course work
for her PhD too...

it gets better....

we start talkin about how close we live to this shop....
turns out.....
we were over -the-fence neighbors from when I bought the house in 90.....
thru 95 I think....
She had a exceptional memory....
like UBER level .......
the level that makes U say......
holy SHIT...lol
now I know how others feel when I do that to them.......
She remembered my ex-husband....((big bodybuilder type)?
check....
she remembered the 65 baby iguana's I raised & sold .....
check...check......
she remembered that I wanted a snake when I was w/ Don but that he was deathly afraid of them...
WOW........
so...what was the universe REALLY trying to tell us both??....
because U KNOW.....
everything happens for a reason......
YES IT DOES KITTY.....lol.......

well.....
I believe that we met up again.....
to renew her enthusiasm in her studies.....
(she had shared her frustration & thoughts of quitting .........)

& for me?......
it renewed my passion in my study I have yet to conduct...
I guess I still sound passionate after all ....
as I explained it to her....=)

& bottom line?......
it renewed my Buddha-nature.....

I may have a new connection to the crazy people too .....
as she is a nurse who works in the one of our hospital psych wards......
I LUV this SHIT!!!!
as U were ......bitches....
I have work to do......

~~LooK OuT ArizonA~~

The PIXIE is comin to visit !!!.....

for 4 WHOLE days!!.....

OH ...OH....

what does one feed a PIXIE?...

where do PIXIE's sleep?.....

what happens if she spills her dust?...

will the dogs give her a moments peace??.......

I must do research.....

......U all know how I can be obsessive about research!

~~~TMI TUESDAY~~~

1.Have you ever used foods in your sexual activities (ie; whipped cream, syrup, popsicles) and how did you use them? of COURSE....wear them...insert them...pour them....smear them....eat them...lick them.... =)
2. If your SO asked you to get them off using only your toes - would you do it and how? Yes I would...... I would pour some massage oil on my tootsies....grip between the big toe & her sister.....using proper leverage .....give a nice fj =) I not only have pretty feet....but very talented as well......
3. Would you ever participate in an orgy? Have you? Yes...I would ...& yes I have...
4. What can a lover do to turn you on instantly? Whisper nasty things he is planning for me in my ear......
5. Describe your favorite piece of lingerie or undergarments on yourself or your mate. I love tight slider boxers.....the kind that resemble slider shorts for baseball players.

~~Wish to Join the TMI TUESDAY fun?.....GO HERE.... =) ~~

~~YummY~~

so.........let me ask U??
Where do U keep ......your Soy Protein Bars?


Next to the Raspberri Absolute.....RIGHT?

& by the way??
any of these.......




..................................go....really ....well =)

~~Becoming a Rocker ChiC~~

Last Sunday....D & I .....
took Mitsy on her first road trip...

D, being the big TooL Fan....
invited me to join him.....
in Tucson...
Mitsy rides niiiiiiiice!

(.....so does D......but .....
none of yer bizzness...... =)
ok....so where was I ??

oh ...yeah....THIS guy


~MAYNARD JAMES KEENAN~

what can I say???......
How do I even begin
to relate the vibe

LOUD?...check...
..........SEX-AY??...check...
..................BiZZarE??...CHECK...
....................FreaksShoW??...Check...Check BABEE!!!

& U know how I LURVE that shite!!

Ever get the chance?...
think its not in your genre.....?
just GO....

Interestingly enough.....
Maynard also has a Winery.......




Come on down to AZ =)
Zip on up to just outside Sedona...
I know .....D and I are looking forward to another wonderful afternoon together......sippin some wine.....
soakin in the metaphysical energy of the area ..... =)

~~I Say & U ThinK~~

I say ... and you think ... ?
Film ::
Dragon ::
Hunger ::
Plucked ::
Dissolving ::
Executive ::
Ridiculous ::
Mist ::
Minority ::
Map ::

~~Answers in the comments~~

~~How will your DASH be remembered??~~

~~Click on the pic .....watch the movie....change your life??~~

~~~TMI TUESDAY~~~

1. What sight, sound, smell, object or whatever most remind you of a special someone? The cologne or perfume that they wear.......

2. Favourite body part/parts of the opposite (or same) sex? say it with me readers.....LIPS! lol

3. Do you prefer to give or receive? Give

4. One night stands- What's the protocol? Stay the night or get the hell outta there? Depends on how good the sex was....if U drove....how late it is.....& what the morning brings?.....(work, weekend)

5. What is the strangest place you've had sex? "um...that would be in the ass...Bob"....LOL...((dating game blunders.......)) j/k....I guess it would be in the middle of the vortex in Sedona......thats on a mountain plateau which is rumored to give off supernatural healing energies.....

Bonus (as in optional): How old were you when you lost your virginity? Who was it to? Describe the event. Thought we already covered this one......ok...summer camp.....tent....Eric Zabel.....two others in the tent with us....all of us camp counselors......I think it was the summer before highschool.....it was nice.....not scary.....not painful.... =)

~~Zoesters recent Vet Trip~~

Waiting our turn.......

Mom?....why R U out there?......Ok...so WHO are we waiting for again?

HEY!....what is she doing back there?

Her chart & shots for the day... =(

Dr. Pratt listening to the ticker....all is well!

um....that kinda stung doc!

um....THAT stung too......
Despite the events.....ZOE still makes him laugh.....

~~One day in AZ ~~

Ok.....lets get this party started.....

Where R those TICKETS!?!

ah...here they are!

LOTS of Bubba's & Bubbettes.....

Yeah.Babeee....business in the front.....Party in the back!View of the stands from the pits.....
The sea of people ..... Hillside party-goers.......
M&M Tires....all ready to roll...
No one should end their Nascar event w/out a trip to Waffle House

Ok...so I told U a while back that I attended my first Nascar event here in the Valley...
Yeah...Yeah......
shut-UP!
I know.....
"she went to Nascar?
LOL ......
ok....over the shock? .....
yeah....me too =)
I had a really good time.....
watchin the gr8 diversity of people
who come out of the woodwork for these events.

If U every get the chance...
few tips....
Get there early...
get the parking passes....
prepare for lines...
if you want to use the 'real toilets' vs. porta potty's.....EW!.....
drink copious amounts
of alcoholic items....
take LOTS of pictures......((of the people...))
.....& most of all....
get the hookup
so you can evesdrop
on all the pitcrews
& race announcers...
while you talk about everyone sitting around U......lol