just gathering my thoughts....& wondering if u still stop by.....
An Open Letter to My Babies...Pebs, Bella, Kory, & ZOE
Dear babies,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it, become your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The PIR (Phoenix International Raceway) did not design the hallway, & therefore…it is not a racetrack. Beating me to the other end is not the object. Tripping me does not help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-size bed. I am very sorry about this. We have discussed this; Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. This is not a group activity! If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, get your paw under the edge to try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.
The proper order is: kiss me, and then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my little buglets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain about My Pets:
1. They live here. You do not.
2. If you do not want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That is why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it is an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and does not speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids are because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it, become your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The PIR (Phoenix International Raceway) did not design the hallway, & therefore…it is not a racetrack. Beating me to the other end is not the object. Tripping me does not help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-size bed. I am very sorry about this. We have discussed this; Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. This is not a group activity! If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, get your paw under the edge to try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.
The proper order is: kiss me, and then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my little buglets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain about My Pets:
1. They live here. You do not.
2. If you do not want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That is why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it is an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and does not speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids are because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
Labels: PUPS
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