~blah blah blah.....~

not sure why i even blog anymore...
sure..
it fills that void..
in the middle of nite...

gives me the sense that i am talking to someone..
anyone...

seems the only peeps that comment are those that visit my foin aszz....
on my HNT's...
well ....& my man OS wOoT WoOt....& the pixie, Brico every blue moon...& of course sis B =)
the rest of u lurkers?....
yeah.....
what-ev!

now dont get me wrong here...
the Doc2b enjoys a little carnal attn...
who wouldnt....

but ....i wonder ....
does this shit even get read...
or ...
am i mentally masturbating ?....
getting carpel tunnel typing...
when i could be getting it in other more productive ways...

((on the 'puter u pervs....geesh!))

so.....anywho...
i sent in yet another version of my proposal...
suppose i should go over the PhD docs and update them....
meh...maybe later...

update on the relationship...
he took the pic down at my request...
of course that was after he pointed out that i had one up on my dating profile
where i had borrowed his motorcycle goggles...
ah...
yeah....not the same thing....
goggled DocM?...my camera....my post processing....my pic....
Beautiful pic of Brugge Belgium?...my camera....my postprocessing....my pic....

mmmm...dont understand his request...
but to show good faith....
i took it down....
funny thing tho?..
he also took down his pic of Hilda the new 335i bimmer.....& the harley...?
not sure what happened there....
chicks luv that shite....dude...
'specially if they're out to find a guy w/ cash.....
and a good time.....

havent heard anything from him.....
other than a nice 'lets play nice' email.....
since our discussion at my doorstep.....

is it too much to ask for a guy to really put his cards out ?
go for it...
face that fuckin fear of rejection w/ some vulnerability?
i dont think so...
in fact...
thats the quickest way to get me on your side....
show me that u're human...
have a heart...
and can express it....
thru words...
& actions....

oh....i was informed the other nite during a phone call...
that i was ....
and i quote....
"intense....more intense that the person who delivered the diagnosis"....
yeah...
like i havent heard that one before.... =)

i think i am numb...
not sure really what i want anymore...
i thought i did...
but it seems to be....
(as i have been advised as of late)
too demanding...
too picky...
too strong...
too independent...
too intimidating....
too emotional...
too highly sexed....
too brainy....
too eccentric....
blah blah blah......................................

y is it that all those qualities are a novelty that attract...
do they see me as a challenge?..
to be conquered?
a notch in the belt...
then move forward when it becomes too real?.....

well..doorbell just rang...
neighbors are over......
must go.....
then watch the new series "in treatment" on HBO...
good show!
go watch...
you might learn something.....

nite nite......