~~Being Special Sux....~

soooo many thoughts running away...
so many questions...
do i bother to ask them?...
will i get honest answers?...
we said we would always be truthful...
but these are at the core...
they require being vulnerable...
is that the issue?..
i was once asked....
"will u take the risk....& answer me?"...
i did.....
& here we are.....
Y can't U?...
i am left wondering....
am i a secret?...
was it all a lie?...
a distraction ...
have u told your family?
did i not 'hear' u....
"I wasn't looking for a relationship...yet....U were too special to let pass....."
if choosing not to communicate for days.....
is your way of showing me how "special" i am.....
please stop.....
it's just cruel....& painful....
& is effectively eroding any chances of repair.....