forget regret....or life is yours to miss.......

so....as I sit here on christmas eve......knowing all over the land there are families fullfilling little people's wishes of toys....books.....candy....and other material items
, I am in a HUGE funk....

of course, I have absolutely NO reason to be.....in fact...there are many things I must remind myself to be thankful for:

1. I found out yesterday, the hand doctor I went to see, approved my extension for my comps rewrites. My appeal committee was asking for "a note" to prove I was really in an accident! (I took down the little guy peeing on HER....even tho it felt so good to see when I opened my blog...thanx O for letting him relieve himself over here)........
2. If all goes well, I will not have to apply to another school, do additional work, spend more money, in order to be at the same point I am now in my doctoral program.
3. I am blessed with many loving friends and family who care about me....
4. I have my health....even tho the eye doctor today gasped in horror as I told her my day job consisted of sitting front of a computer and then write all nite doing research for my PhD.
5. I have 4 little cuddlebugs full of unconditional love, who greet me each time I arrive home as if I have been away forever!!!
6. I own my own home, car with no payments, and have no out of the ordinary livings costs.
7. I live in Sunny Arizona...(it sure is alot easier to shovel sunshine than snow from what I can recall of my days in wisconsin!)
8. If I wish, I can play biker bitch dress in my leathers, hop on my motorcycle and end up with a tangled mess of hair feel the wind in my hair
9. I have attended the teachings of HHDL on two seperate occassions. As I reflect on my life, each of these opportunities presented when I was not aware of how much I needed to BE there.
10. I have Monday off to power SHOP!! ( and yes I know that is in opposition to the anti-retail feeling I express re xmas...but I need new panties, bras, winter sweaters and jeans:)

so why am I feeling this way??

Am I chasing after childhood memories, smells, activities & experiences? Am I burnt out from the negative people I have dealt with during my errand running this time of year?? Is it just part of getting older? or do I just need a good licking ....and yes I mean THAT kind?!?! I think I just need an all day cuddle partner.....someone who would be willing to share my kingsize fourposter high bed with its pillowtop mattress, feather beds, 1200 count sheets, 8 kingsize pillows, and of course Pebs, Bella, Kory, and the Zoester!

Any volunteers?? (this is where I find out who reads all the way to the end of my postings!! LOL)

Last week, I went to RENT and cried like a baby. They did the broadway production justice ....and more. Beside....Jesse L Martin?? grrrrrrrrrrr! But I digress....

If you think its a movie that you may not enjoy because its a "musical"......give it a chance......the story is a life lesson in LIVING for TODAY. Incidently?....the writer died before he saw his creation on broadway. so sad.

I end this post with the words from : Finale B.

I tear up everytime I hear this.......and if I didnt know any better I would be inclined to believe the creator found Buddhism.

there is no future
there is no past
thank god this moment’s not the last
there’s only us
there’s only this
forget regret
or life is yours to miss
no other road
no other way
no day like today

I can't control
my destiny
I trust my soul
my only goal
is just to be
there's only now
there's only here
give in to love
or live in fear
no other path
no other way
no day but today...

I can’t control
my destiny
I trust my soul
my only goal
is just to be

This will be on my "todo" list going forward........... :)
Blessed be my Blogpeeps......

....................I'm Out.....M