just gathering my thoughts....& wondering if u still stop by.....
Only 4 Years ago...........
It was 7:10 am, I was finishing my 12 hour nite shift. I was on the phone with our NY office, discussing the details of a batch job running on one of our servers. She put me on hold to verify some code info......and I was casually watching the big screen monitor mounted high on the wall a few cubicle isles over.CNN was showing a plane flying into to first tower. I was still on hold. As I stood up to have someone across the way turn up the volume.......my cohort came back on the line. I'm not sure if I was all that calm when I told her I thought a plane just flew into her building. She said they heard a loud bang, but their supervisor was looking into it. She didnt believe me. Why should she believe some programmer from AZ telling her a plane just flew into her building.
At that point, I think I told her the 2nd plane hit...f*ck what her boss was saying...everything was not okay...I was not making it up...I described the chaos we were witnessing on the tv...."use your sick time....vacation....just leave!" We hung up and I joined the crowd forming around the TV in silence. I still wonder if she got out, or how her life changed forever on that day.My shift ended.....the new crew was on their way into the building......some had been listening to the radio during their commute across the valley.......others were just learning.....some were crying.....others just stood in shock. One of my co-workers, who, on anyother day would be someone I would admire for his constant sunny disposition, walked by in tears trying to get thru to NY on his cell.
Today, if I were to hug him, as I did on 9-11, in the lobby of that fortune 500 org., we would both be advised on "inappropriate behavior in the workplace". How sad is that ?!?!
In the days that followed, when I wasnt glued to the set, crying, or wide awake having anxiety attacks into the night...........I made new friends at the grocery store, let people in line ahead of me-- no questions asked, hugged people with no hesitation, and vowed to be more in the moment.
How long did it take tho.....before people were back to: not acknowledging each other in line at the grocer, inching their cars forward because 'letting someone in' would delay them, re-establishing the unwritten rules of interaction in public, and operating on auto-pilot thru the day????
So.....what can I commit to....today?.....and each day after?I can acknowledge "friends I haven't met yet".....allow people to cut in front of me in traffic, at the store, and if I'm ever in line buying tickets for a concert (Brico:).....hug when I get the urge.......and be in the moment..................
What will you do?
5 Comments:
all other little squabbles between eachother seemed so petty for awhile. it went from me against you in this society to us against them. and it has moved back toward the way it was, sadly.
i definately am not first and foremost a buddhist when waiting second in line for tickets. maybe next time.
i post on one messageboard frequently, we got on the topic of hurricane katrina. there were so many uneven levels of blame being handed down. people either wanted to ONLY blame the local government or ONLY blame the federal government. they were letting party allegiences assess the situation.
party politics, when you truly boil it down isn't much different than rooting for your favorite football team. brico's right on when he say's that the whole squabble thing is very very sad.
anyway, i think we need more cowbell in this country!!!
You know the actor steve bushemi, he;s the googly eyed guy in adam sandlers movies, he used to be a fire fighter in NYC , when he heard what happened he ran down to his old fire hall , threw the gear on and ran right back into the building with the boys, maybe he should be the presedent, don't cha think instaed of someone who stays on vacation while his people are dying, later.
What a great post Minta. I loved the perspective of helping one another, loving on one another, serving and giving to each other. I try to have a servant's heart normally (try and try and try, it certainly doesnt' come naturally), but to think about it in the perspective of 9/11 is an entirely different thing.
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